At what age did you suspect Asperger?

[Wowcherarestalkingme]

My DS is 3 and I’ve always had a feeling he may have autism. His speech was delayed and he used to visually stim when he was about two. At his speech therapy appointment and his 2 year old health visitor check they both commented that he was showing traits which I agreed with. That was two years ago and he stopped stimming and his language is now that of an average child his age. However he is still quite behind in his social skills and he is exceptionally good at maths. If your child had a diagnosis of Autism or Aspergers, at what age did you start to suspect they may be on the spectrum? And how old were they when they were diagnosed?
I have a lot of experience with ASD but it’s very hard when it’s your own child not to read into every behaviour, some of which could be developmental.

My neighbours son wasn’t diagnosed with autism until he was around 6 or 7 and the same with a friend of my son, he was diagnosed with aspergers around 8 years old, although before he showed some signs i.e. not liking loud noises, needing to know what was happening all the time, but very clever and an exceptional memory. I think both of these boys it took quite a while to get it diagnosed.

Thank you for responding. That seems to be my experience too. He starts school in September (where I also work) so I think I may have to see how he goes in a school environment. He is still so young as well

We knew our son was autistic when he was three. He wasn't diagnosed until he was nearly eight.

Why was that @Ellie56 if you don’t mind me asking? Was it due to it being so hard to get a diagnosis or was it not something you pursued until he was older?

It took forever because no one would listen. He was diagnosed with a speech and language disorder when he was three and the professionals all thought the bizarre behaviour and all the rest of it would stop once his language improved.

I badgered everybody and anybody, but nobody else could see what we could see.

The Nursery HT who I had a great deal of respect for didn't think he was autistic.

A psychologist said he "definitely wasn't autistic" on the basis of one hour's observation.

And an experienced teacher at school said there was nothing wrong with him; he was just naughty/awkward/lazy (whichever adjective took her fancy that day).

It was only when a SLT who had been working with him over a long period of time, started noticing the issues we had been raising concerns about for years, that finally other professionals started listening, and he got his ASD diagnosis.

How frustrating for you. Unfortunately seems to be more common than not though

My Ds's difficulties were flagged by his reception teacher when he was four years old. He finally got an autism diagnosis September last year when he was 15 and in year 11.

A late diagnosis has made life incredibly difficult for him.

Wow that’s really late

Our DD is 13 and it's only now that we have been told by counsellors and psychiatrists that our DD is on the Aspergers end of the ASD spectrum. She met all her milestones as a child, no stimming but serious depression, social isolation and no eye contact at all. So hard as she tells us she has masked her symptoms since she was 10.

It’s a sad state but I don’t think your story is unusual @Realmumstuff. Girls with ASD are missed so often due to their ability to mask what’s going on. We (professionals, schools, society etc) need to get so Much better at supporting girls and understanding that ASD can look so different for some of them. I hope you and she are getting the support you need now x

Thanks @Wowcherarestalkingme it's been a long road to get to where we are now. As our DD was our first we really had no idea and thought that she was just shy growing up. Looking back and knowing what we know now some clues were there; she slept badly all her life, didn't look at us or like cuddles as she grew up, completely inflexible and had collections of all sorts and wasn't into anything that her peers were into.

Her mask seemed to have been pretty convincing at school for most of her primary school days, from year 6 we noticed she was turning invites down for things and not wanting to meet with family or friends. It's now as she grows up and finding she isn't like girls of her age that the depression and social isolation has really crept in. The affect it's not only had on my DD as well as family life is huge. I just wish I had done my research earlier, then we may have got her the support she needed earlier.

Real hope things start to improve. We are still trying to get Ds support and he's meant to be starting sixth form in September.

I too feel I should have been on top of this long before now and Ds has been let down by us and the education system. Very difficult for a teenager dealing with an autism diagnosis.

It’s very difficult when it’s your child, especially with your first. I spend most of my time trying to work out if it’s developmental, DS is just ‘quirky’ or if it’s something else. You both sound very supportive so please don’t feel you have let your children down. The fact you have fought for them and are supporting them as best you can is all that can be asked. I do wish parenting came with a crystal ball though, would make things a lot easier for everyone!

considered from age 8, suspected from age 9, school took seriously from age 10, diagnosed nearly 11. Masked amazingly until the wheels fell off completely.

My dd was diagnosed with asd at 15. But was suspected from 13. She was very good at masking until year 6 when she became very anxious about doing new things.
She now is in hospital under the mental act due to anxiety and sucidal intent. I think if things were picked up earlier then we would not be in the situation we are in now.
My eldest (12) and my youngest sons(6) are both on the waiting list to be assessed for asd..
We were told that my youngest is not on the spectrum but he has a lot of issues at school and they have refered him back to the cdc and class. As school think he is.
My Dh has been told very recently that he is probably on the spectrum at 44 years old.
I would keep pushing for help for your son and getting a diagnosis.

My second son was My second son was diagnosed ASD at 1 yr 9 mths. Unlike his elder brother, he had no speech at 1 yr 6 mths. He played toy cars in a weird way, no eye contact, speech delay.... made us suspected his abnormal.