Please or to access all these features

SEN

Here you'll find advice from parents and teachers on special needs education.

Nearly 5 year old lacking social skills

7 replies

iwasgonnacancel · 12/06/2020 22:45

I don't know how else to put it. DS has always been different compared to other children. He is very loud and his brain seems to go at 100 miles an hour. Just the other day he was talking to me and stopped half way through and sighed then said 'I just have so many ideas'. He will often talk complete gibberish about dinosaurs or minecraft to people who clearly have no idea what he's talking about and often doesn't stop for breath. He also thinks that everyone wants to be his friend and will not take no for answer. A child can be showing very clear signs they don't want to play/talk and he won't stop pestering them. He's gotten better at this but only because I intervene or try to explain not everyone wants to play and talk all the time. He just doesn't seem to pick up on social cues.

Just before lockdown his teacher told me that someone came in to observe the children and DS was one of the children they picked up on. I asked what for and she said being quite flappy (not too sure what she meant by this, he does struggle to sit still sometimes or do silly things but IMO normal for his age?) and covering his ears a lot. He never did this either at home until very recently and it's not all the time (usually just when his baby brother cries). She also suggested I get his hearing tested as he's very loud and asked if I was happy for a referral to be made. I said yes but obviously it's all on hold now and I don't know what to make of it all. DP thinks he's fine and nursery never had any concerns but as I said I've always noticed he seems a bit different from other children. What should I do?

OP posts:
rawlikesushi · 13/06/2020 06:45

I don't think you need to do anything at the moment because school are taking the lead.

I think it's great that they're doing so because so many parents have to fight the school en route to a diagnosis.

If the process concludes that your child has no SEN, then that will be the end of that and you will feel reassured.

If the process suggests that a formal diagnosis is appropriate, then that is a very long process and it is good that it has started now.

Try not to worry. It can be very hard to accept that your child has additional needs, but if he does then it is important to identify this and get him the support that will most benefit him.

FWIW from what you have written here, the lack of social skills, covering ears, flapping etc suggest ASD if you want to do some reading of your own.

iwasgonnacancel · 13/06/2020 07:57

Thanks for your reply. Sorry should have mentioned DS probably won't be going back to that school due to covid and we are also moving (hopefully by September so he can start at his new school then). Do you think I should take him to the GP?

OP posts:
rawlikesushi · 13/06/2020 09:15

If he was my child, I would take him to the GP and explain that the school had raised concerns that will not now be progressed due to your move.

Once settled at his new school, raise it with his teacher and see what s/he thinks too.

It really is good news that you are on this so early. I have known many children reach secondary school, and often a crisis point, before starting this process.

Ellie56 · 13/06/2020 11:44

I agree there are some potential red flags for autism there. If he is, it is so much better to get a diagnosis (and necessary support) earlier rather than later.

I have heard of so many teenagers diagnosed late and who have suffered severe mental health issues as a result.

iwasgonnacancel · 13/06/2020 16:09

Thanks guys I will take him to the GP.

OP posts:
canon2020 · 13/06/2020 22:26

See how you get on with the GP.

Much might depend on your local NHS.

Gp will likely refer to the NHS and there may be a wait and even then to what extent can they / will they do anything?

Come back.

Another route might be to ask the LA for an education health and care needs assessment.

Both processes are fraught with difficulty...

If money is not an issue consider getting a private assessment carried out but only on recommendation and plenty of research.

Again, any assessment, school commission, NHS, LA or private is likely to have to wait for the lockdown and physical distancing rules to be eased I anticipate.

Good luck.

canon2020 · 13/06/2020 22:27

x I meant to say please come back and let us know how you get on.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.