Bullying

[Rosebel]

In a state and don't know what to do. Daughter has been bullied since September, she will now sometimes say something back but not often. She's been threatened by one of the bullied friends and girls (including the main bully) will follow her on the way home, literally taunting her until she snaps.
School unsupportive for some reason blame both girls but if they'd dealt with it in September it wouldn't have got this far.
They blame my daughter's autism saying she is too sensitive, they put plans in action but don't follow through, they say all the right things but don't do anything.
No one wants to help. Police aren't interested, school couldn't care less. I just want to take her out as every day I see her fade a bit more. She's lost interest in all her hobbies and claws at her skin. She says she wants to die.
I can't just take her out though. Both myself and my husband work full time and I'm pregnant so it's not like I can keep her home.
The school is big but they're all big where we are.
I just don't know what to do. I fear it'll happen all the way through secondary school. I hate this other girl so much.

Sounds just like what we are going through with my hf asd son in yr 8. He has very few friends (he only friends with kids that he has seen to be nice, and work hard, thankfully will not follow a crowd).
He has been bullied by the same kids since he started y7. Now we just get told that he hasn’t reported anything, so they didn’t know. Well he was put into isolation last week (first time ever and he was mortified), he retaliated and punched one of the bullies. Of course, when statements were taken, there were more on the bullies’ side and only my son and his friend to say what happened.
His mental health is suffering and he becomes withdrawn and quiet and will just take himself off to bed. We seem to be going round in circles. They know this little thug is a bully, he does it to some other kids too. Wondering wether to change school (on EHCP) and go to a specialist hf ASD school. That would involve a taxi to and from there every day for about a 40 min journey each way.
He’s a bright boy, he has an excellent report from all subjects and is in top set for quite a few subjects.
(Feel a bit better now I have had a rant, thx!)

@Rosebel

Are you keeping a diary? If not start straight away. Be as detailed as possible.

Secondly do not let the school fob you off!

They have a duty of care towards your daughter. There are laws that are in place!

Head teachers have the legal power to make sure pupils behave outside of school premises (state schools only).

My first thing will be send the school a very formal email / letter requesting a meeting. With the head teacher SENCO and anyone else involved with your daughter. Tell them you expect them to sort this out ASAP otherwise you will have no choice but to go to the police.

Just make sure you keep a record of everyone you spoke to and what they said Including dates and time.

www.gov.uk/bullying-at-school

How are things OP now that we are in lockdown and your CD not actually going to school, any changes in his mood / behaviour?

Oops DD and her

She is better but worried about returning to school so we've had a,few bad days (and nights). She has regained some of her interests and talked about returning to her activities when (if) they resume . Yet something will suddenly remind her I'd this girl and she becomes tearful and angry.
I know the bullying affects her but she stopped telling the school because they didn't help and her trust in the teachers who promised to help (and didn't) has been shattered.
Wish I could keep her home forever.