ADHD? Worth getting a diagnosis?

[changeisasgoodas]

DS is 7 and in Yr 2. Since reception the teachers have flagged up he has additional needs, mainly due to his ability to focus/ be quiet/ sit still. I've too been concerned but felt it was too early previously to worry, he was a "lively boy" bla bla.

I can't ignore it anymore though. I'm struggling to manage him at home. He's constantly making noise , screaming, silly noises, throwing himself around/ on people, hitting me and his sister, screaming and shouting and a complete meltdown if I say ANYTHING that he doesn't like, e.g. Put your pyjamas on, brush your teeth, etc. The only time he ever sits still is playing Roblox on my iPad, but I only let him do this weekend mornings for an hour or so.

At school, we used to have regular meetings with the SENCO and ed psych but the SENCO left and wasn't replaced. Since then, nothing. The SENCO and school were really discouraging a formal assessment, saying he was too young, and would get the support he needed anyway.

But he's not. He's dropping way behind at school in all subjects except reading, where he's "at expected level." School told me he wouldn't get an EHCP until he was at least 2 years behind in everything . Homework is a waste of time, it can take neatly a whole day to get him to do 2 worksheets, and hours of crying, screaming, tantrums, and he doesn't understand it anyway as he's so far behind.

Any advice? Would an assessment help?

Also my DH doesn't want him assessed as he doesn't want him labelled.

How about a private assessment? Then he's not on the NHS records..
I feel your pain. I actually went on a parenting course organised by Barnardos and it was really, really useful. Taught me management strategies that have really worked.

Your son sounds just like mine at age 7. He was diagnosed with asd at 7 (referred at 6) and with adhd at 9 (personally I think he needed the adhd diagnosis earlier but had difficulty getting another referral to camhs). His behaviour was as you are experiencing, and he was also behind at school (about 9 months), which I was also told was not far enough to be of concern. But it was a concern, he's a bright child, he was far from reaching his potential. School kept telling me he was making progress - sure, but the gap between his peers and himself was not closing. I was told they would not make a request for an EHC needs assessment because they were meeting his needs.

Problem was, as he got older, the behaviour issues became more of a problem, impulsivity in the playground led to him getting in physical fights and being excluded. He was utterly unable to do homework as he couldn't remember what they'd been taught. His mental health started to suffer once he became aware that he was doing badly in comparison to his friends (he was oblivious until about year 5); he didn't understand why he was in intervention groups with children he felt were "dumbasses" (his words).

I have to give school some credit, they tried, he's done countless Elsa -led social skills groups, his class teachers in yr 5 and 6 have made numerous adjustments to support him, but he didn't make significant progress. With secondary looming and my son's mental health being at crisis point in the summer (he tried to kill himself) I made the decision to make a parental request for a needs assessment. It was initially turned down as is annoyingly common with local authorities who disregard the law, so I appealed and the LA conceded before it went to tribunal. He had the assessments and they agreed to issue a plan. So much stuff was turned up by that process - speech and language and OT need I was not aware of, and neither had his school been. He's going to get provision to address all that now and he will start secondary with it in place and his needs understood.

The one thing that has made the biggest difference though is medication for adhd. He started it at the beginning of yr6 and he's come on academically in leaps and bounds, way beyond what I might have hoped for. From never having reached expectations he's now predicted to achieve the expected standard in the sats. I had given up on that, certain he would not. He's now able to focus and maintain it, so he has a chance of learning. His self esteem has risen because of this, and his behaviour - at home especially - is transformed during the hours he is medicated. He's just less impulsive, less hyper, he can learn and remember a sequence of instructions in a task. It's a game changer for him and for our family life.

I'd encourage you to seek a diagnosis. As for labelling, untreated children who have adhd are usually labelled anyway, as the naughty child, the wild one, uncontrollable. My son was violent and unpredictable, and he was miserable and depressed to the point of not wanting to exist. (Not at 7, this was from age 9). For us diagnosis and treatment has given him a chance.

As for school saying about 2 years behind before a child can qualify for an EHCNA - it's not true. They may have been told that by the local authority but the law trumps local policy. The law says the LA must consider whether the child has or MAY HAVE special educational needs and MAY require provision to be made via an ehcp. It's a low bar for assessment. Have a look at IPSEA's website for information here.

I'd seek a diagnosis. Whatever your husband says your son will already be labelled. Better to have a medical diagnosis than labels like "rude"/"naughty"/"silly"/whatever/ and the diagnosis should open doors for support.

And the school is talking unlawful bollocks (probably fed to them by the LA ).

Ignore them and apply for an EHC Needs assessment yourself. But be prepared to be turned down initially as this is what a lot of LAs do as a matter of course then back down when parents appeal.
Info here:

www.ipsea.org.uk/ehc-needs-assessments

Thank you for your replies. I have a meeting with the Ed psych tomorrow, and his teacher on weds. I am going to request a referral for assessment of his SEN and will write to the LA requesting an ECH assessment.

Also meant to say, I have heard so many good things about medication for ADHD which is encouraging.

@changeisasgoodas hope your meetings have gone well and you're supported in a referral. :)