Possibly over dramatic but here we go anyway...
DD is 8, nearly 9 and has been on a downward spiral of vile behaviour since just before Christmas.
For example the other morning despite being given multiple warnings about getting dressed (always do 10 minute/5 minute countdowns) she was still sat in her underwear at 3 minutes before we are due to leave. This culminates in me shouting at her because despite 2 warnings and, you know, the fact we get dressed every day to get out of the house this is some massive shock to her. We are then delayed getting out the door as she’s still scrabbling to get ready. It’s almost like a control thing, and some days are worse than others. She tells me she couldn’t hear me then blames me for not getting her up early enough. We can’t leave any later as I have to go to drop them to school and head straight to work. I’ve worked since returning back from maternity leave, it’s not anything new.
It doesn’t happen every night(maybe 3-4 a week) but also the utter resistance to go to bed, sometimes she just downright refuses despite us giving multiple warnings and removal of privileges(which we stick to). Tonight after 20 minutes of trying to get her to go to bed, she just walks downstairs giving us attitude and answering back whilst throwing the meltdown of all meltdowns. I told her I’d tell her teacher and she spat in my face 😢 OH had to come get her as I ended up just screaming at her, I was so angry and disgusted. It was only at this point she actually gave in and went to bed.
By now, I’m crying, DS is crying, she’s crying and poor OH doesn’t know what to do for the best. We are both sat here absolutely drained with what feels like another evening ruined. The only time we ever argue as a couple is over stuff like this, it’s draining.
She’s extremely well behaved at school, absolutely a grade a student, she’s not being bullied and is popular and well liked.
DS has ASD so we are used to dealing with and de-escalating behaviours but I feel so clueless and helpless when it comes to this. They both get one on one attention, they aren’t spoilt at all with material things, we are emotionally available.
In the back of my mind something is wondering if maybe she’s possible ASD too? She’s nothing like DS in terms of character and seems sociable, empathetic, doesn’t have obsessions.
Any gems of knowledge or advice? Please no judgment, I don’t think my heart could take it today 😔
