Mild ASD and Oxford (or surrounding area) secondary/senior schools

[OxfordMum1983]

Hello - not used mumsnet for so long that I had to change all my details as had forgotten them!

My ds1 is in year 4 at a local day prep school. He had a diagnosis of ASD (mild end spectrum, has normal IQ and language skills but not gifted or anything remotely similar) made by neuropsychiatric CAMHS last year. This was what we expected at the time. His main difficulties are rigidity, not coping with change, limited social reciprocity at times, poor understanding of social affect and mild pathological demand avoidance. Latter basically manifests as refusing to do anything we ask him at home, especially schoolwork or things he finds hard. His behaviour in school is good, they have no difficulties except for managing his anxiety and trying to prevent unpexected change or chaos. He has 1:1 input for spelling (absolutely terrible!) and writing as has dyslexia and mild dyspraxia although now that is much improved after lots of input.

We are very happy with his current school which although produces amazing academic results from the majority of their pupils, is not especially pressurised, very nuturing, very individual in their flexibility and were happy to keep ds1 in their prep even though he was too anxious to do the internal assessments to move from pre-prep to prep. The curriculum is very broad but also deep as required.

Anyway, we have to think about which schools to look at for senior school and everyone is advising us to think early as lots of the pre-tests are in yr6. Ahhhhh!

We need a school which is not too selective (ds1 is bright but the ASD prevents him achieving his potential as he is too anxious and refuses to do lots of things, I have no idea if he will actually sit exams let along 'perform'), preferably has experience of mild ASD/managing anxiety. Ds1's consultant suggested he might find weekly boarding helpful as a lot of her similar patients have liked the structure of this option.

We live in Oxford and will primarily be considering independent schools, as our two potential catchment secondaries are not really suitable - I have visited both - both very large, chaotic, achievement on average below ds' so I suspect he would just not bother and the staff were not very supportive when I mentionned the ASD. However, I am willing to consider anywhere!
Any suggestions for day or boarding (although preferably weekly) within shooting distance of Oxford that might suit?
I am going to see St Edwards and D'overbroecks.
nb. I have excluded Cokethorpe as ds' consultant said she wouldn't recommend it for him.

I don't know the area but I would suggest looking at small schools where they understand autism and that it manifests itself in many different ways. You might even look at autism specific special schools where they offer GCSEs for their higher functioning students.

Have a look at what the Priory Group offers. Our son went to one of their FE Colleges and did fantastically well. They offer GCSEs and A levels as well as NVQ courses.Some of their students subsequently go on to University.

The advantages of these schools;colleges are that they are small, the environment is autism friendly, all the staff understand autism (not just some if you're lucky) and there are usually therapists on site to address anxiety and sensory issues and to promote social skills.

His main difficulties are rigidity, not coping with change, limited social reciprocity at times, poor understanding of social affect and mild pathological demand avoidance.

I think you are doing your son a disservice by referring to his difficulties as "mild autism."

It may seem mild to you, but the way he experiences it probably doesn't feel "mild", hence the anxiety which frequently goes hand in hand with autism.

the-art-of-autism.com/understanding-the-spectrum-a-comic-strip-explanation/

The fact that he is managing so well at school is, I suspect down to a very nurturing school and the environment he is in, which is currently meeting his needs.

The picture would be very different in a school that wasn't meeting needs, as the accounts on these boards sadly, all too often testify.

My son managed well most of the time at secondary school. They understood him and put the right support in place for him. He had virtually 1:1 support in class, worked in small groups some of the time and did his homework at school (something which became a huge issue as he got older and expectations were higher.)You might have said he had "mild autism."

With FE it was a different story. It was OK in the first year, but then gradually deteriorated into an ever increasing nightmare in his final year, by which time his self esteem was at rock bottom and his anxiety levels were through the roof.

Just remembered - a list of questions I posted on another thread you might find useful when looking at different schools:

Ask:

• how much knowledge/experience /training the staff have of autism, -and how many pupils they have currently with autism.
• what links they have with (autism)specialists,
• how they routinely liaise with parents, (good communication between home and school is imperative)
• what pastoral support is available
• what provision is made at lunchtime if DS is struggling with the lack of routine outside,
• if there is any opportunity provided to support with homework in school, if this becomes an issue at home (this can be a huge problem with children with autism as they get older and more homework is required.)
• what support they can put in to assist with social skills
• if there are sensory issues with the uniform what alternative arrangements can be made

In my opinion you know when you have found the right school. It just feels right.

Thank you! Incredibly helpful.

I should add, when I say mild I mean he has normal language, has learning difficulties but not learning disability (when the edu psych assessed him they said IQ 125, not that that means anything much in reality), will not nessarily need something outside mainstream schools. However I do take all your comments seriously.

@OxfordMum1983
Old thread I know but I was wondering if you could share what prep school your son went to and which school you decided on for secondary in the end. We are looking to move my high functioning autistic son aged 8. Thank you!

New college

Sorry pressed send - and no regrets, they have been great.

Thanks so much for getting back to me. I'd not considered New College so will definitely look into that. Have you decided on a secondary yet?

Probably d’overbroecks

Thanks. We're thinking the same thing