Explaining working memory to SENDCo

[AdultHumanFemale]

How can I describe to DC's school's SENDCo that a poor working memory and a difficulty with visual and aural processing in a dyslexic and dyscalculic pupil, is not the same as a lack of 'believing in yourself', but a clinical, material fact. DC can't just try harder, or work on their motivation. No amount of encouragement is going to increase this capacity; sound pedagogy might. DC is exhausted with trying harder, and staying upbeat and motivated all day long, masking huge anxiety.
Any ideas for how to gently explain this to someone who is very well meaning, and keen to get it right, but has a blind spot?

Slightly shocked (but not surprised) you should need to! Sounds like this person in the wrong job!! poor working memory and trouble processing is dyslexia. Have you any kind of official report when you got the diagnosis? I had to get the educational psychologist to write directly to our half witted waste of space of a senco with recommendations, so I feel your pain with this. Obviously if your dc is severe an EHCP is your way forward (or change is school, which is what we did). If they really are well meaning, but totally ignorant, as you describe then highlighting resources on the net and preparing your own report with linked evidence might help, but I have learned the hard way that unless schools have something in place that’s legally binding, such as an EHCP, they haven’t the time, funds or inclination to do anything other than the minimum and sadly become adept at blaming the child whether that be causing them of laziness or a bad attitude.

Thank you, Lanbury. Yes, DC was assessed by an educational psychologist last year who spent a day working with her in school, and wrote a very thorough report with excellent recommendations. The school have been helpful and have implemented most recommendations, and DC's experience of school is much more positive for it. So as not to drip feed, I am a teacher who coincidentally am teaching the same year group this year.
However, current CT really wants to 'stretch' her, apparently with new-to-role SENDCo's approval, despite the recommendations stating clearly that she should benefit from a differentiated curriculum focussing on closing huge learning gaps from previous years, working at her own pace, with a lot of consolidation. Current CT feels DC has 'potential' and believes she's letting her down by not pushing her more. She feels that, as DC seems able to, with 1:1 support, access the curriculum for her year group in English and Maths, she should be encouraged to gain greater independence with work at this level. DC feels out of her depth, and struggles to remember calculation methods and grammatical features from one day to the next, however thoroughly they were explained to her previously. Prior to diagnosis, she was indeed blamed for her 'poor concentration' and 'switching off', as well as being made to miss class treats for poor test results etc (that teacher has since moved on, thankfully) and she still gets very anxious and embarrassed about it. Don't get me wrong, of course I want my DC's CT to have aspirations for DC's attainment, but not at the expense of her wellbeing.
I am meeting SENDCo this week and want to make sure she understands what limitations poor working memory in particular can place upon a learner, and why time to rehearse and consolidate is of greater importance for DC. I am struggling to find a great analogy or way to make it really obvious, though.
I am interested in what you say about an EHCP; despite DC initially scoring 2-3 years below on various Maths and Reading assessments administered by the EP, as well as in 1st and 4th centile for working memory and processing, an EHCP has not been on the cards because 'she seems to be managing well' when not required to read, write or reason with numbers I had let it go, because I got the impression I might be antagonizing the school if I pushed for one for 'just' dyslexia and dyscalculia, so am curious as to what your experience is with applying for an EHCP for dyslexia / dyscalculia?
It's so frustrating, because they see a pupil who seems to be 'managing', whereas I know she's really feeling the strain and putting on a very brave face all the time.

Sorry for the delay in replying. Yes my DC does have an EHCP for dyslexia/dyscalculia and is cognitively able. However many authorities (including ours) do not assess or name it as such and the word dyslexia isn’t mentioned at all in the EHCP, despite that being the issue basically the the term is it is so a widely used and abused . The key points is dyslexia is composed of many different areas of difficulty such as processing, working memory, visual perception etc, so when they assessed for the EHCP, each area was defined To make up the bigger picture. In respect of working memory it can be a bit like you or me going upstairs and then forgetting why we went and have to go back to the kitchen to remember and start again (strange analogy!) I have spent many years beating myself up with how he can read or write a word one day and might as well have never set eyes on it the following. Some children also struggle with word retrieval so for example they might know a rug is something that goes on the floor and what it looks like but they have stored the sounds and phonics that make up the word in a different filing cabinet and struggle to make the link of what it’s called and what it rhymes with etc. In a nutshell “dyslexia” is not a one size fits all diagnosis and is composed of many different components of difficulty unique and varying in severity with each individual. What it really is not is laziness or bad attitude, but sadly both of these, along with avoidance, can creep in when the child loses heart and starts to fall behind. Once you realise this and can break it down there is a chance of progress. The trouble is, children have to prove to fail Your DC, like mine, is likely to be very able but held back (and judged) on the ability of literacy. I wouldn’t hold back from considering applying to be assessed for an EHCP (do this yourself, don’t ask the school) but bare in mind they will bin it if they think it’s “Just dyslexia” as they get about 100 a week for that. As I said above, you have to think outside the box.