Multiple children with ASD

[puglyme]

Hi New to mumsnet I have 3 dds age 20 18 and 15. Oldest diagnosed at 12, middle dd diagnosed 6 months ago and youngest awaiting assessments. They have other additional needs too I struggle to cope how do any of you deal with multiple children with autism who all have differing levels of need and all see the world through blinkers (My way of describing how they only see one point of view - their own! Like a horse with blinkers on). Have very little support from outside agencies and youngest going through a very difficult time currently as medically signed off school due to anxieties and at home all day with me. How do you all cope managing them and keeping yourself from falling apart while also stepping over the mess in the house (maybe this bits just me I've seen tidier skips than my house).

I accept I cant do it all, I feel guilty alot and I wish things were different. Mostly I just wing it and hope we all come out unscathed. I have twins one with a very aspie ASD profile with some PDA, one with an sensory ASD profile and ADHD and another DC with processing issues and dyspraxia. They all have VERY different needs. Esp the DT as one needs calm, order and control and one is chaotic, constantly on the move and incredibly emotional ! Older DC is easily overwhelmed and withdraws. I'm exhausted. My house is an utter tip ( I don't let anyone come in !) I am so behind on admin and paperwork I no longer know what i havent done but my kids are loved and supported the best I know how. It's not perfect. But its us.

Thanks didiplanthis at least I know I'm not alone with the chaos. It's not as if the diagnosis ever made them suddenly behave any differently so you'd think after all the years we'd be used to their different ways and know how to handle it but some days it feels like we learn something new a about dds, I think it's probably the realisation of the reasons behind the particular behaviour and before we suspected asd were trying to parent how you would neurotypical children which doesn't work. Do you find that yours cannot understand each other's needs or comprehend that people have different needs to their own as this is a huge problem and causes many arguments when no one can be reasoned with. I too feel constantly guilty and feel I'm being pulled at least 3 ways without adding in a husband, pets and home. Although dh does what he can but he is still another person to consider in the mix. I feel constantly overwhelmed, and although have been advised to get out more or join a group just for me I find if given the chance I just want peace and quiet and to be alone. How do you manage time for you? Sorry very long post feel very sorry for myself and negative at moment I try my best for dcs but they are convinced I do nothing for them and don't care while I run round trying to keep the peace and keep everyone happy.