DS2 has been put on the SEN register at school

[ValidVictorian]

DS2 is in year 2. I've been called into school a couple of times because of his behaviour but they've never even hinted at SEN. Today I was asked to meet with the SENCO and they want to assess him and refer him to the child development centre. And he's on the SEN register.

I just feel really sad, and like I've failed him somehow. Can anyone who's been through this advise me what's in store?

You haven’t failed him at all and him being on the register doesn’t mean anything other than they feel he needs some extra help and support. Find out what they want him to be assessed for. Is it Educational Psychology? Or are they referring him for a diagnostic assessment for something like ADHD and ASD? If so you would need to feel that he has the same needs at home before any diagnosis was considered.

Of course you haven't failed him The CDC does what it says on the tin - it looks at the child's development. Looks at areas they struggle with and try to discover if there is an underlying reason for that.
As Catwoman says, being identified by the SENCo as someone who needs some support in some areas says to me that it is a proactive school that want to help their pupils to succeed.

As to 'what is in store'. There are two path ways running alongside one another.
Being on the SEN register at school means you should get a plan which sets out some targets they would like him to achieve in 3 months / a term's time. It should also state what they are going to do to support him to reach those targets. That then gets reviewed and - depending on progress - he could come off the register or he could have another, similar plan, or they could decide that despite the additional support he hasn't progressed towards the targets and that they need to do more to support the need(s). Most commonly, it will be the middle one - another term of additional support, working on the areas of need.
'Being referred to the CDC' - eems to vary from one authority to another, but where I work it means that you wait around 3 - 4 months then you see a Paediatrician. They ask lots of questions about history, developmental milestones, your concerns, the schools concerns, they will also ask about strengths and they will also observe (and, depending on concerns sometimes tests like height and weight). Usually - depends on concerns again - they will then refer to other professionals (maybe SaLT or OT or physio or dietician), or they might refer for blood tests or genetic tests or MRI scans or hearing tests or whatever the professional is relating to the concern, or they might refer to a multi disciplinary team for further assessment They then usually re-appoint in 4 or 6 months time to assess with all the information gathered.

Thank you both for your input. I guess it's a good thing for him if he gets the support he needs.

It sounds like you have a proactive school who is putting your sons needs at the heart of his learning. Consider yourself lucky. Many people have to fight for their schools attention, let alone cooperation. Your school is actually take the lead and communicating with you. We should all be so lucky!

However, it's not nice to be in the place no matter how wonderful the school is. I've learned there are an awful lot more people with SEN then I would have imagined. There's a lot of company here. And it's not all bad. You might like to find out what they think he should be assessed for and then look into those potential diagnoses. If there are behavioural issues my guess is ADHD/ASD/PDA might be potentially on the cards.

Again, I want to stress that if the school is voluntarily involving you and they continue to be open and honest that is a really good thing.