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SEN

Here you'll find advice from parents and teachers on special needs education.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

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Original poster

daughter won't go to school

62 replies

Rocktheboot · 08/10/2019 09:04

ANYONE got ANY idea what I can do???!

DD is in year 4 now. she was bullied badly through Reception and Year 1 and is left with horrible anxiety (PTSD/OCD). We moved school as they weren't protecting her and we have been through periods of school refusal over the last 3 years. I don't know what to do any more. I can't keep forcing her in. I mean, I CANT force her in. But I'm going to loose my job at this rate. Then I can't pay the mortgage. I have no idea what to do. do I just have to let that happen???

OP posts:

Original poster

Rocktheboot · 08/10/2019 15:28

I DO share a bedroom with my DD ALREADY. I have 2 dds

OP posts:

Original poster

Rocktheboot · 08/10/2019 15:29

she can't sleep without me

OP posts:

pumkinspicetime · 08/10/2019 15:37

Ok.Just trying to help.

Original poster

Rocktheboot · 08/10/2019 16:12

I appreciate that pumpkin, thanks

OP posts:

MNHQ

LilyMumsnet · 08/10/2019 17:33

We're just moving this over to SEN at OP's request.

catgotyourbrain · 08/10/2019 17:47

bumping for the SEN wise ones...

Chocolate4me · 08/10/2019 19:20

I would try and find out which school in the area has the best sen team, have a look, see if there is space and ask what they would put in place to help her. We moved schools and within 4 weeks they advised me to get an Asd assesment (we went private) and now they want to apply for funding to get extra help, maybe an Ehcp plan. He gets sensory breaks, his own timetable with reward time if he meets the targets (all targets are within his reach for now to build up his confidence). Honestly the difference in support is amazing, I'd ring your local SEN board for your council and ask which schools would give the best support. Explain your situation and fear of loosing your home and job.

Also, if you do home educate... Can you work from home? Take your child to work with you and set her up with some work in another room for a couple of hours and then perhaps a childminder come and collect her or family? For home education you can do it however you like, evenings, weekends, just an hour or 2 a day at primary age. It's not like school at home, you dictact how it fits in X

10brokengreenbottles · 08/10/2019 19:46

Don't deregister, nousernameforme is right, getting support is much easier when she is on roll somewhere.

Apply for an EHCP. IPSEA have a model letter you can use to request a needs assessment. IPSEA have a helpline too, as do SOS SEN.
Apply for DLA. Cerebra have a good guide to help you complete the form.
See the GP to get your DD signed off sick from school. Some LAs like a consultant letter, but even if yours is one of them it will do for now.
Get the GP to talk to CAMHS again.
Get school to organise education for those too unwell for school from the LA. The LA have a statutory duty to educate those medically unfit for school.

I have a DS with PTSD, not related to bullying, but he couldn't cope in a mainstream environment.

Original poster

Rocktheboot · 08/10/2019 20:10

thank you @LilyMumsnet and @Catgotyourbrain for bumping

OP posts:

Original poster

Rocktheboot · 08/10/2019 20:22

@10brokengreenbottles and @Chocolate4me lots of advice, thank you.

I am thinking of

take 2 or 3 weeks annual leave from work, so she can stay home. is it better to get her signed off sick or not? I do WANT to invoke the LEA because it's their bloody fault that we are in this situation. but staff at school today said because the are an academy, LEA don't get involved anymore??
then I will reduce my hours and she has agreed to go in 3 days a week. I will apply for DLA to try and compensate for loss of earnings
apply for EHCP
I have put her name on waiting list for different school. but will contact SEN Board(?) to see which is best. How do I find SEN Board?

children not allowed onsite where I work unfortunately. I can WFH to a certain degree but not all the time

OP posts:

10brokengreenbottles · 08/10/2019 20:37

Getting your GP to certify DD is medically unfit for school means you have a record should you need it. It also helps with securing alternative education while she is ill. Ultimately the responsibility for ensuring those medically unfit for school lies with the LA whether the school is an academy or not. See the gov document here.

Follow up phone calls with emails so you have a paper trail should you need it.

Passtheketchupdude · 09/10/2019 14:10

Sorry your DD is having such a hard time OP. My own DD had a torrid time in her 1st school by year 1 she was school refusing. I trained to become a Childminder, so I could be there for her. When it became clear she was not supported in that school i took her out and Home ed. We then followed up on diagnosis, which she got 2 years on (ASD) after a year of home ed, she felt more confident to go back into school (a different, and superb school) she has been better supported in this new school.

OP is sounds like the school is not supporting her well enough. I am afraid i had to become 'that mum' i held them to account for all she needed. It was exhausting. I am the same with new school, but they get it. Maybe another school would be a better fit. Sadly it is a strain on working capacity. Childminding has been a good fit for us, i earn a good living, and it worked well with home ed for us. Now i am always there for events and school drop/collections, and we are ready for the transition to secondary, she feels better supported.

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