Aspergers teen refusing school

[Gamboge]

Hello, I am really hoping to get some advice about my DS 15 who has gradually stopped going to school. He says he doesn’t have anxiety about school but has got into the habit of staying up all night and sleeping during the day. He acknowledges he is depressed but denies any thoughts to harm himself. He is underweight. He uses his computer excessively and when I removed this for two weeks recently he went very low and couldn’t cope. He does not have internet access at night. I have tried locking the room his computer is in at night but he just stays up anyway, sometimes walking around the streets for hours which is very worrying. He says he is unhappy and feeling unwanted at home but self isolates and declines to join in anything or if i can persuade him on an outing to the cinema or something he is silent the whole time. He was diagnosed with Aspergers age 6 but has always been in mainstream education with no extra support. I am trying to get a CAMHS referral but the GP says the school should do it and the school says they don’t have anyone who can do it?! The GP suggested the school refer to EBAS (?) and I asked the school to do this yesterday and they said EBAS will do the CAHMS referral but they doubt he will meet the threshold and it will take ages anyway... GP says school should be doing more.
DS does not like his stepfather and he says this is a big reason he is unhappy. We have all lived together for four years. DS’ bio father ceased all contact when we moved in with my husband but was never very interested. I am at my wits end trying to get help for DS. I am finding myself even contemplating leaving my husband if this would help. I have contacted a private family therapist and she sounds great but cannot see us until mid Sept. The GP gave me the name of a local child psychologist but she charges £100 per session which is unaffordable for any length of time, I have emailed her anyway. If anyone has any advice I would be grateful. I feel desperate for my son and it’s affecting my own mental health too.

I would write a letter to the GP (send it recorded) with your concerns and request a camhs referral and for them to refer him and if they cant refer him why? Get it in writing. Call social services and ask for a social worker she can help. We had a social worker and she was really helpful. My friend who has a daughter with severe learning needs also did this before her daughter turned 16. We are also trying to get an ehcp for.my daughter it covers their education, health and social until they are 25. If the school does not want to do ehcp, you can do self referral. Go to your local authority website. I hope this helps.

Also have a look at www.ipsea.org.uk/health-and-social-care

Thank you Mumtalktalk, that is helpful. I have now found an alternative family therapist who is more affordable and am meeting on Tuesday. It seem to me there is a massive gap in provision for youngsters experiencing mental health problems but who are not actively suicidal (yet). If it were an adult then counselling and meds with monitoring from GP would be offered.

You can refer to Camhs yourself . Speak to the sen at school - they should give you a termite update about his support . Ask why this isn't happening . Take in a list of his needs and say they are not being met .
Speak to local SENDIAS- you can apply for an educational care plan . He shouldn't be left like this . I've had a similar experience with my newly diagnosed ASD DD15 . I complained to the school massively before anything was done .

That should read termly update sorry

Thank you for the posts. What should school be doing? I requested a meeting with school and they agreed to stop giving him detentions for minor misdemeanours but didn’t offer anything else. There has been no SENCO involvement since primary school. He doesn't have a statement. He has always just ‘managed’, until now.

Hi in first instance go back to Senco .
Make an apt to see them , not on the phone .
Remind them he has a diagnosis and it's not unusual at certain Times in a Childs development for this to raise more concerns than at other times.
You should expect him to have something in writing along the lines of 'Gamboge DS needs this this and this and the school will do x y z to meet those needs . This should be reviewed termly. It's not in practice often so that's what they should be doing . Each school has a substantial budget of thousands of pounds for every child with an SEN problem. Most schools spread it around the SEN children due to crap government funding so if your DS Has been okay and hasn't needed any extra help when schools are usually just happy to let those kids carry on as they are. But he clearly needs help. I am in the same boat with my DD 15, but I have had a new diagnosis for her so had a meeting with inclusion support for my area and they wrote down on a plan which was then emailed to me what they were going to do to help her get through her GCSEs. I recently asked for another meeting as I don't think what they have in place is enough for her. This is all fairly new to me so there might be someone else on this thread who can give you a bit more info.