Starting 6th form

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Dd1 is doing GCSEs at present so is 2 weeks away from leaving school. She is def on the spectrum and school are aware. She is undiagnosed (her choice) but is known by school to have autistic traits. She does okay educationally but struggles terribly socially. She hasn't got any friends that she sees outside of school and is very much alone. She gets terribly anxious in new situations. She has chosen an art course at 6th form and went to a 'taster day' but got so anxious she hated it. New student day is coming up and she REALLY doesn't want to go. She knows she'll be starting in September but says she'll just get on with it then! Should I insist she goes to the new student day? Her anxiety about it is through the roof but if she doesn't go won't September be even harder for her? She has never met anyone that she has anything in common with at school (she collects furbys and bears and is very young socially). I am praying there is someone she gets on with at college. I can't stand seeing her alone in her room all the time

I can understand your worries. My Ds is 14 and currently being assessed for ASD. He struggles hugely in social situations. We have decided to go down the diagnosis route even though he is not that keen. We feel it will help him understand himself better.

Ds has no friends at school and it is heartbreaking. I have recently persuaded him to start going to a youth group for teenagers with ASD and again he struggles so much even in that safe environment. I am determined to keep him trying to go though as I'm hoping that it may help in the long run.

I guess don't force her to go if she feels too anxious. It is only one day. Hopefully she might feel that there is someone similar to talk to when she starts the course. Ds is meant to be going on a two night residential in a few weeks time. At the moment he doesn't want to go. He is too anxious about it. We and the school are going to try and work with him after half term and see if he feels he can manage it. Ds is also quite emotionally immature. He still likes soft toys and would be out of his depth at a teenage party for example.

It is difficult, has she had any support for her anxiety? Ds has had none at the moment. He will be working with a TA when he goes back to school to try and help work through some of his issues. Would some extra support with how she is feeling help her manage it better? It's definitely difficult too without a diagnosis that's why we feel for Ds it's the best route to take.

Hi. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. We did go down the diagnosis route previously and dd had some sessions with CAMHS which were not very useful to say the least. They really didn't benefit her at all but that was just our experience. I think it depends who you get! She never had a proper ASD assessment though. I am sorry to hear your ds feels the same. DD has no interest in the 'normal' teenage things and just can't understand anyone that does. She often says she wished she wasn't the way she was as her life would be easier. I constantly tell her she is wonderful of course. I am going to call the sixth form next week and speak to their support person to get some advice. Her school life has passed so quickly and emotionally she's not ready for leaving yet! I hope your ds does manage to go on his trip and it goes well for him. It's so so sad seeing them struggle

Thanks, will be interesting to see if he goes and how he manages. If I know him he would go and not manage very well but be unable to tell anyone that he is struggling, thats what he does all the time!

I can understand what you say about not being emotionally ready for the next step. Ds is a summer born and because he is also emotionally immature he would be much better in the year below.

Sounds like the camhs intervention wasn't particularly helpful. When you speak to the 6th form support they might have some advice on other things that they might be able to offer. I do think it's harder fo those young people without a diagnosis as I think they are not as well understood as those that have one. Hopefully though sixth form might be able to offer some good support and it might be a positive new start for her. You are right though, it is difficult to see them like this.

Hi,

I work in pastoral care for a major fe college. I would highly recommend she goes to the taster day. She will meet new people and find familiar faces... when she starts it will be mental where the taster day will be slot more relaxed.

Even through she has no diagnoses I would suggest you speak to the send team and ask to see if you can have a tour before they break up so she can see it with people around.