Recently diagnosed son and I'm struggling

[Chargertest]

Hi
My child (3.9 years old) was diagnosed with autism last month. I had some concerns myself about whether there could be an issue but was hoping to be proved wrong and was really shocked and upset when he got the diagnosis.
We have only told immediate family as I am struggling with it myself and don't feel able to manage or hear anyone elses reactions to it. His preschool SENCO said he's still the same boy and whilst I know this, what gets me is the struggles he faces and the worry of what is to come. I wish things weren't like this for him, I worry that he will never experience friendship, be able to have a job and so much more.
I also worry they have got it wrong and misdiagnosed him. I then hear of people who say the label of autism no longer applies to their child, so then I'm confused...is this a life long thing or can it go away?
Im tired. I feel overwhelmed. I feel angry that my child has this yet personally responsible.
Sorry I think it's all really jumbled. I don't know what I'm asking other than really, have you felt this way and what helped?
Sorry I don't want my post to come across as a pity party or self indulgent, I just feel a bit lost in all of this X

Hi
I didn’t want to read and run. What you are going through right now is completely normal. It is the grieving process, because you need to grieve for the son you hoped to have and the opportunities that he may not be able to have.
However, that heart from the fact that with intervention, support and the right out of home environments lots of ASD children make strides. It very much depends on where they are on the spectrum and which of the traits they exhibit but every child I know with that diagnosis (which is a lot) has made steps forward in areas where they have received support. This does not mean of you work with your so. He will become “normal” (whatever that is) but some ASD children you can’t tell that they have it at all they attend mainstream schools and the most people would say is that they are quirky. Others go from non verbal to the ability to communicate. So there is hope for your son and I am sure that you will help him reach his full potential.
But for now please be reassured that you are allowed to have a good cry, feel that you lost a bit of the future that you had planned for your son and wish that things were different. It doesn’t make you a bad mother, in fact it makes you someone who loves and will do all that you can in the future.

Hello OP,
Currently going through similar with DD. She hasn't had a formal diagnosis yet but has social and emotional issues which manifest in aggressive behaviour and has been excluded from school several times and now faces expulsion. We are devastated and I'm crying all the time (mainly at night so no one knows). Feel very isolated, it's hard to explain. School have tried lots of intervention and have more planned. Some mums at the school are judgemental and have openly said that their DC does not like my DD. Very hurtful. Just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone xx

@ unsureandunsteady
You are totally right with what you say and thank you as I have taken a lot of it on board and it's really helped.