Dyslexia or just below average?

[Lostwithoutmap]

My dd is 6. Recently the SNA (shared between classes) called me aside and asked could she do a reading test with dd. She said she was concerned she was having trouble reading. I was taken aback as she appeared to read well, but thinking about it i'd lately suspected she was guessing words.

Anyway, I hadn't been pushing her at home because I was a very early reader myself (hyperlexic) and devoured books easily. With my dd I just thought, ah well she's not hyperlexic, this must be what it's like to have to learn to read.

Anyway after the test the SNA showed me the results. She can't blend very well at all. Mixed up b, d, p and other things. The SNA gave me CVC words to work on with her for six weeks and exercises to help her blend. After that I have to go back and see if there's any improvement and 'we'll go from there'. Apparently 'go from there' means wait another year, review and then wait another year and then seek a diagnosis through the public system (Ireland, big waiting lists)

I'm doing the CVC words and more with her and we'll go back to the SNA after the 6 weeks, and probably regardless of the outcome of that we'll go for a private assessment to rule in or rule out dyslexia.

Anyway, I went to her parent teacher meeting today. The teacher (echoing) very much what the SNA said paints a picture of a child working very hard but struggling with both English and maths.

This worries me. What if it's not dyslexia and she's just going to struggle? This is unchartered territory for me. My family are all intelligent, I was gifted at some things languages, science, drawing, spatial ability, etc and coasted all my life. Despite this I struggled with maths.

I'm finding it difficult to really know what to do if she isn't dyslexic. My own failing but I can't see me having the ability to apply myself I'm studying and coaching her. I'm easily bored and inattentive myself. I've never been able to study or work at things. It's the story of my life.

What is it really like? Will she improve and catch up or will she always be behind and needing extra homework help and support?

Also what is get future if she's less than average academically? Do I direct her twords sport?

Sorry for the self indulgence of this post. Can anyone talk about their experiences? Especially if you were a coaster/lazy yourself but your child struggles but works hard?

😂 apologies for all the typos btw

Start working with her on something like Nessy Reading and Spelling. Nessy also make the Hairy Phonics apps which are great. You say that you are intelligent - just because your DD May have dyslexia doesn’t mean she isn’t intelligent....

Thank you Lara, I will look into those 😊

Yes, I know kids with dyslexia can be intelligent. The possible outcome of dyslexia isn't what is worrying me.

What I'm worried about is if she isn't dyslexic, what if she's just a poor reader? It's strange though because she seems bright, her vocabulary is great and she's so driven. Something I don't want her to lose.

I don't have any experience of what to do or confidence that I can help her. The teacher was so blasé, and kept glossing over her struggles offering me the comfort that she's a 'hard worker'. I just didn't expect this.

She's so frustrated and cries at bedtime. I've promised her I'll help her. And she trusts me, I'm just at sea.

I'm glad she is a hard worker but my heart sinks thinking of how crushed she is as she's falling further behind. I'm wondering will all the work in the world make any difference if she just doesn't have the ability? I feel like I don't know this child...I wish I could express it better.

I'll be trying anyway, it's the emotional side of it though. I'm so worried.

See a behavioural optometrist and get her vision checked!

I think you need to take a step back and relax. It sounds like your worried that she isn't smart because your whole family is intelligent but what is it your actually worried about. That they'll look down own her? That she won't live up to your expectations? That she won't succeed in life? Are you embarrassed? I'm not judging, sometimes our feelings aren't nice but it is how we feel. To be honest this sounds more like an issue for you than your child. You may just have to adjust your expectations.

I struggle with my feelings re having children with learning disabilities. I would say DS has moderate learning difficulties and DD mild learning difficulties. I am no Einstein but I was swotty as a child and qualified as a solicitor (but I was lousy at it). DS is 11 and can't really read and is similarly challenged across the board. My two however are both massively resistant to learning. DD (9) is almost more frustrating because it feels like there is more won't than can't in her case. E.g. she is nearly there with reading but hates it with a vengeance. DD will be having an assessment with a private educational psychologist a couple of weeks from now (DS had his a few years back). It's good to get some idea of their specific strengths and weaknesses. If I had the time and money I think I would seek counselling/therapy as I'm well aware that my negative feelings probably make everything worse.

I would echo vision check- BABO have a list. Cost us about 80 pounds. Then ed psych if you can afford - around £500 or more. Will assess her on verbal reasoning (sort of IQ based questions) and reading ability. Will at least let you know strengths and weaknesses and you can have an insight and work with her. In the mean time reassure her about her non-academic qualities - sensitivity, loyalty, humour, curiosity etc. Kids need to know their value is not just in what they achieve in the classroom. Keeping her confidence and esteem up is crucial no matter what x

I think many parents are probably working harder with their dc than you realise. Especially those with older ones. Basically you cannot leave it up to the school with reading. Most progress will be made at home. As many schools rarely read 1-2-1 with them.
It sounds like she is one of the older yr 1?

If your child struggles at school dyslexic or not they are going to need to find something else they can excel at. All children will have the ability to excel at something and this would really help with the confidence knock your child will take when they spend so much of the day doing something they are not so good at.
I am dyslexic (as are my 3 kids :( ) and my mother was very academic, I knew from quite young she was embarrassed by it so however well you think you are hiding it from her she needs another outlet for you to feel proud of her and who she is so I would advise getting her to try loads of different activities out of school so she can find her feet and really enjoy the feeling of success. In turn you can bath in pride which helps with getting through the tougher bits of parenting ;)