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Here you'll find advice from parents and teachers on special needs education.

Not sure how to handle this

2 replies

outnumbered4 · 21/01/2019 12:08

My son is 9 and has ASD. His anxiety around school has risen massively in the last year or so.
I've spoken to school and they are aware of the problem as it his happening while he's there, usually meaning he is sent home for vomiting although they are getting better at managing him so it doesn't go that far.

In the last few weeks he has become even more anxious around school (regularly school refusing) and I've been doing a lot of work with him trying to find out what causes the anxiety and how to help him. School are also regularly pulling him to chat as well which appears to be putting him under a lot of pressure.

He struggles with talking, and direct conversation is particularly tricky for him. He tends to try to say what he thinks the right answer is for that particular person. Or will just agree or withdraw if really pushed. Unfortunately recently he has started to say things that aren't true instead of telling people what he is really worried about. I think so they will just leave him alone. He then becomes upset at home as he says he's lied and he's worried.

This is frustrating as I have now just been told that all of his stress about school is due to a completely unrelated and untrue situation at home, access to scary films etc. I have explained that this isn't true and that the content in question was actually described to him by another child in school (they knew this it's been going on for a while and my son isn't the only child affected) they are adamant that I'm wrong and basically passing the buck to me.

Apparently he is scared to be alone anywhere at school due to his fear of what he has seen... I've explained that he is happy to be alone anywhere at home and is showing no signs of fear. They say he must be projecting the fear from what he's seen at home into school. They are absolutely insisting that the problems he is having at school are because of this. Am I missing something here?

OP posts:
grasspigeons · 21/01/2019 15:19

Oh dear - they really havent 'got' him.

I guess its worth talking about the film the other children have talked about as it may have upset him (or quite frankly the other children might be being a bit mean if they picked up on his social confusion - so he may be avoiding that)

outnumbered4 · 21/01/2019 16:29

Yes, I definitely think this particular child is doing it deliberately as it distresses my son. Although I know other children are having the same issue and saying the same kind of things to their parents so it isn't just us.

It's just so frustrating.

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