We are moving back from the US after 5 years away and I am overwhelmed just thinking about it all. My biggest concern is our two girls age 9 and 6. The 6 year old has ADHD and dyspraxia both diagnosed by a neuropsych in the US. We’ve fought for services at her current school but keep being told that she’s doing well and they can manage her. At the moment she is in kindergarten where demands are low (as they are in the US for this age) and focused on social skills and pre-academics. She is still working on solidifying letter sounds and phonics, as well a basic early numeracy (Singapore Maths). She is not reading yet and grasps numeracy 1-10, which again, is normal in the US for her age.
She will be going straight to Year 2 in September (older daughter to year 4) and we really want a warm nurturing private school that will manage/challenge both girls but will also understand ADHD and realise it’s a neurologically based disorder, not just “bad behavior”. Both have solid IQ’s and great strengths in some areas but also seem to be late bloomers with reading, spelling etc. We want to give them a chance to flourish academically, but everything I read scares me about how pushy all the private schools are at such a young age and how much homework/pressure etc. there is. We want happy, secure children, who equally get a good education tailored to their strengths. We don’t really feel that state school is an option, as they would both be lost in a class of 30 children and we’d likely find it difficult to get places at a good state school at this stage of the game (we would only want one with an “outstanding” rating if I am being honest 
)
We currently have places in a SW London private school that would suit them both. And is an area we know and like. But having been away we wonder if it’s the time to move further out, away from pollution and the city and the dreaded 11+ (which I’m already having nightmares about as neither one seems to test well at the moment). I also don’t relish the idea of a 11/12 year old taking the London bus or tube to secondary school on their own.
Surrey is really the only place we’d want (or maybe Berkshire) as we have family Surrey direction but nowhere else. Lots of friends (ours, not the kids) still in SW London as well. DH needs to be able to commute to London for work.
We are flexible in terms of housing cost. The right school plus a reasonable commute are our priority.
Any help appreciated. Especially from SEN mums with knowledge of both the US and UK systems.