Things seem to be getting worse very quickly

[howtobehuman]

My son is in year 1 and awaiting diagnosis for SEN, I suspect he has ADHD. It feels as though things are going downhill really quickly. He seems unhappy or angry most of the time and more and more closed off and uncooperative. I am struggling to get the basics done as he ignores me or is angry at me. He's angry at his brother. He's not interested in homework and if we manage to do a bit he gets angry and frustrated. He also seems to be becoming more isolated at school. It's heartbreaking because I'm seeing less and less of the sweet, funny, loving side of him and I know others are too and although I'm normally pretty good at not caring what people think, I've been worrying about what others think of him. I know I have to be calm, positive etc around him but it's really hard at the moment. I feel weepy and snappy and negative and I know it's only going to make things worse. I just don't know how to turn it around.

I would make an appointment to go ad see the SENCo.
Tell her this.
Ask if she has any ideas that you and the school can work on together.
Remember also, that, at this time of year, an overwhelming majority of young dc are exhausted and behaving badly or getting upset easily or whatever behaviour they display when tired. Routines are all disrupted, there are lots of exciting things going on, and the Autumn Term is just too long. They are shattered.

Yr 1 is a very big transition, our boy was exactly the same. We found he was holding it together at school but because of the mental effort that was required he was an absolute mess when he came home. It was like we completely lost our child, there was just nothing left of him, he was in his own little world and it was very distressing to see.
Absolutely set up a meeting with the class teacher and SENCO and see if they can put anything in place to help him. We do the bare minimum for home work and learnt to adapt our expectations, spellings done verbally rather than getting him to sit or using scrabble pieces so he didn't have to write, do what you can in 15mins then stop.
He got his diagnosis during yr1, he's in yr3 now and we're still learning but it's so much better now than it was, it will get easier, regular contact with the school is key I can't fault our sons school and the support they have offered. Also have a look at the book 'ADHD living without brakes' it was a lightbulb moment for us, when you understand the condition and make exceptions and adaptations things do get a little easier. Good luck!

Thank you both, that helps. I think I do need to adjust my expectations but it's hard to see him like this when he seemed better not so long ago and now seems to struggle with so much. His school have been amazing, really supportive. We're due a SENCo meeting in jan so I'll hold off til then and see how he goes over xmas. Maybe some downtime will help, we're keeping it really low key this year.

& I will definitely get that book!

I love the book SleepyPaws, thank you!

@howtobehuman so glad you like it, it's the one and only book we've read and it really was a lightbulb moment for us, I hope it helps you as much as it has us 😊