Seeing GP for possible SEN, what to talk about?

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Hello, our DD is in Y5 in a highly academic independent school. Last week the head teacher met with DH and I to discuss a recent meltdown she had in school, which also (not mentioned in the letter inviting us to talk) encompassed the behaviour the school had seen in our DD since joining in Y2.

The head teacher suggested that we get a private psychological assessment to see if DD has any SEN, as doing it on the NHS could take a long time, for which we need to see a GP to get a referral.

We've got an appointment booked for next week with the GP and I'm just wondering about people's experiences in this part of the process, or the journey to getting an assessment as a whole. What do we focus on when talking to the GP, given the short amount of time allotted for an appointment?

For background, this is the first time the school or anyone has suggested a possible SEN or getting a psychological assessment. DD is bright and reads a lot, is very much into science, but doesn't often complete her exams and exercises at school (already given 25% extra time by school), takes hours to do homework, has difficulty putting her thoughts into words on paper. She is taken out of lessons once a week since Y4 for learning support but there was no particular label given and some other students also get similar learning support.

At school, when she has an issue or if she felt a child was picking on or laughing at her she would lash out (eg kicking her pencil box on the floor but in earlier years did try and hit others), and refuses to talk or follow teachers' instructions. This doesn't happen all the time; for the most part she is a happy and engaged child, earning housepoints and enjoying school clubs.

However in every school year she gets pulled up for bad behaviour a handful of times (most of which is due to being poked/picked on but the story only comes out much later as she refuses to talk to teachers/me and DH and quickly forgets the incidents). In Y2 her school asked us to stay for two nights close to the hall where she had a camp with her class in case they couldn't control her (she was fine, DH and I had a nice stay at a nearby B&B, but a little embarrassing for us as we were the only parents asked to do this). She doesn't respond to authority, and doesn't appear motivated by rewards, punishments, ultimatums; when she is in a temper she is in a temper and takes a long time to cool down.

She's an only child and at home there are few flashpoints; she happily does chores and homework (albeit taking a long time with this), reads and chats to us about her day. Socially, she has one close friend and a small number of friends; isn't super popular but it doesn't bother her.

The latest meltdown was because she and her class needed to finish an on-the-spot research/writing exercise, and she was only halfway through at the end of the time; the teacher was pressuring her throughout (offering to help but she refused, which is typical of DD) and at the end she spent an hour curled up and being unresponsive.

Feeling a little bit at sea as we had never really thought until now that DD might have a SEN, and wondering how we can best support her.

I don't think GP sounds like the best route unless you're concerned about a physical health or mental health related issue. What are you hoping the outcome of gp appointment will be- referral to CAMHs or a paediatrician? If your dd was in a state school there would be processes those schools could follow in order to gain support from educational psychologists etc. I would be asking what school are doing to support your daughter. What interventions do they have, learning or supporting social or emotional needs?

The school gave us a selection of names of local child psychiatrists, who need a referral from a health professional (e.g. GP, paediatrician) before an appointment can be booked, so they recommended first going to a GP then seeing a child psychiatrist.

We are therefore hoping to get a referral from the GP, and ultimately hoping to learn if there are any learning disabilities behind DD's behaviour with a specialist. Not sure if this is naive or there are other ways to go about it.

Here's what the school have done:

• provided 1:1 learning support for one lesson per week to help developing resilience and strategies for coping with open ended written tasks
• given 25% extra time at assessments/exams

Staff were given the following suggested strategies to support DD in class:

• Repeat instructions.
• Discreetly offer support/check understanding
• Provide structure/templates/starting points for open-ended tasks
• Give space and opportunity to cool off; don’t react to meltdowns
• Avoid direct confrontation
• Give opportunities to open up and discuss issues

I don't think they have SEN provision, and at the back of our minds they may not let DD continue at the school especially if a firm diagnosis is established.

I think above all, if you have the funds please get an educational psychologist assessment. Psychiatrist seems a very drastic step without first seeing what the issue is behind her issues at school. She seems very happy at home and if there was a psychiatric issue she would probably show it at home too. From what you’ve described it may be that this is a very pressurised school for her. EP’s range from £400-£2000 please DM me if you want details of one we used recently and he was amazing. The GP will not be able to give a referral to one as that is schools responsibility. This is also the case with psychiatric etc. I volunteer for a well known sen charity so please DM me if you have more in-depth questions. And all schools have sen provisions, from the sounds of it her schools sound quiet good.

Thanks so much malmontar, I've PMd you.

The school are supportive but you're right it might be too pressurised; they certainly like to keep their top rankings on league tables.

I don’t fully understand the position of the school but from my limited knowledge, if the school have good reason to suspect a SEN THEY should be getting a Education Psychologist. The SENCO should be getting external agencies involved like CAMHs/ inclusion support. The law states the school should make reasonable adjustments to meet the needs of your child. Schools should have a notional SEN amount of £6000 per SEN child (or there about). If they can’t meet the needs of a child within their resources then they (or you) can apply for a EHCP (you don’t need a diagnosis for one, need to prove ‘may’ have a SEN and ‘may’ need additions support. If you haven’t already please do look at IPSEA website/ Child Law/ Special Needs Jungle. They all off an abundance of information. You shouldn’t have to be seeking private assessments- some people have benefited from private assessments if they have had reasonable schools/ LA s to deal with others have found it created a further barrier-worth looking into how it works in you particular area. Haveing said all of that yiunas a parent can apply for a EHCP yourself putting in as much information in the application and evidence of need. At the very least it pushes the school to do the most they can, then if that’s still not enough you can reapply-again IPSEA will give details of tile scales/ SEN law. Hope that helps somewhat, good luck!

Sorry about typos 😬

This is an independent school. All the above applies to state schools/academies.

Ahhh ok that makes sense, that’s why I wasn’t so sure, good luck hope it works out