13yr old ds just diagnosed with autism-what do I ask for from school?

[missmapp]

So , after a long wait for assessment, ds1 was diagnosed last week. We are not surprised, his social skills are poor and we had lots of other concerns. Recently his anxiety has been getting worse with regular meltdowns at home if he loses school work or gets homework wrong.

At school he is fine. They have no concerns. I have arranged an appointment with the senco for next week. So, what support should I ask for ? I think they think we are mad and that he needs no support. I don't know how to help ease his homework anxiety , especially when work in school is problem free.

Sorry for rambling, just not sure what to do and don't want to waste the appointment. Any advice would be very gratefully recieved.

I would talk to them about how difficult it is to maintain that "front" throughout the whole of the day, every day at school, and how that impacts on him when he gets home.
What would you like to change?
Do you think he would benefit from some kind of support with friendship / social skills ?
Would he benefit from having a 'safe space' to go at lunch break or something when he doesn't have to maintain that 'front' in front of his peers ?
Do you want some homework differentiation ?
Is the anxiety about losing work something that would be reduced if he had some help with organisation ?
Do you want all his subject teachers to be aware of his anxiety about 'getting it wrong' with his homework ?

Thank you backforgood some excellent questions. Will talk to dh and think. He can do the homework, so it doesn't need differentiation. He worried about losing it. Also, any homework set online, language programmes et c, ishorrendous. He stresses about it being timed and when th ings don't woek. May talk to them about that.
Thank you

Ask your ds if there any subjects he struggles with, if he does request for additional support (LSA), if you haven’t already ask for a time out card from lessons when he’s overwhelmed. If he has sensory issues request a quiet place for lunch/ break. Find out what level of SEN support he’s currently on. After the meeting I would request a copy of his new support plan. These are all classed as reasonable adjustments and fall within the £6000 budget. It’s best to get this in place now and keep an eye (keep record of meltdowns/ issues). This way if he needs further support you can apply for a ehcp. Although this is way off but he should be eligible for Access Arrangements for his exams in year 10/11. Has he had a report from a Education Psychologist? We found making a whole staff announcement made all teachers aware so they understood the anxiety and sensory issues. Sorry I know I’ve probably repeated some of what the above post has said.

Thank you rose1981, that is really intetesting. Will talk to ds but he doesn't always see he finds things hard if that makes sense.

Your welcome, I found a lot of useful information on mumsnet from other parents. What we found was the main difficulties were with processing information, sensory issues (struggling with noise and smells) and anxiety. She would struggle with the work in lesson as she would end up missing what the teacher had said. It took a long time to get the school to see her issues partly because she masked and partly because they were being awkward. No two children with autism are the same but they can struggle with similar issues. The older they get the worse their problems get of the right support isn’t in place. We managed to get the time out card and quiet place for lunch, then built it up to support in some lessons. Because she is still struggling and in year 11 we have applied for a EHCP but in our case we had a late diagnosed (15years old). If you haven’t already it’s worth checking out IPSEA/ National Autistic Society and SOSSEN. Hope it goes well.

my ds diagnosed at 12 used to struggle to write down the homework in his diary and I had to ask the teacher to check he had it down before he left. Had to ask school to keep an eye on his processing of verbal instructions because he was so distractible. they also had a great sen office where kids could go and work or hang out if they needed support or somewhere quiet. I needed to support him to understand it was ok to text a friend if he had forgotten what to do.
could school email h/work to him if he is anxious about losing it?