Will it always be so hard?

[PinotAndPlaydough]

Warning full on pity party ahead.

My eldest daughter has been referred for an autism assessment, she suffers from awful anxiety and stress.
She has recently joined beavers and loves it and tomorrow she’s meant to be making her promise except she’s got so worked up about it she’s just spent the past hour and a half screaming and crying about it. She says she wants to give up all becaus of this stupid promise when I know she doesn’t really. She’s hit herself and screamed so loudly I’m surprised the neighbors haven’t called the police.

Meanwhile my over tired youngest daughter was crying in bed because she wanted a cuddle and because she’s worried avout swimming lessons and wanted to talk to me about it. I was scared to go to her incase my eldest hurt herself.

I feel like I’ve failed both my girls tonight the eldest who I can’t calm down unless I’m almost lying on top of her sushing in her ear and my youngest who has suffered because I can’t comfort her when her sister is in this state.
They are finally both in bed and I’m sat having a cry and moaning to strangers on my phone because I’m real life my daughter only behaves like this at home and I don’t think anyone believes me or they think it’s just shit parenting. I’m just so tired of these daily meltdowns and being unable to make it right.

Aw.
Didn't want to leave you on unanswered threads.
I'm sure you know that the Beaver Leaders will not want her this anxious and will happily let her just join in her promise with the rest of the Colony. She does NOT need to stress about that.

I also know that isn't really what you are asking.

In some ways, yes, all parenting is hard, but when you are supporting dc with additional needs, then it is harder. In other ways, the achievements are that much greater, if that makes sense ? I can't tell you it will all miraculously get easier when they are 10, or 11, or 12, or whatever - but it sometimes helps to know you aren't alone ?