Breaking point, no idea where to turn.

[LilyRose2212]

Start of the summer holidays and already absolute nightmare!!
I have 2 children girl 9 (had 2nd assessment & diagnosis completed in April. ASD and ADHD, currently taking Equasym. Although I feel like it is absolutely no help), 2nd is a boy nearly 3.
Since the diagnosis I have had no help in knowing where to turn next, and I am at a complete lost.
Our whole household is being upturned on a daily basis and I just don't know what to do to make it better.
We deal with meltdowns constantly and no matter how much I try to disfuse the situations the same thing happens every day.
I work in a school and have actually worked with SEN children before so am fully aware of the need for strategies, visual timetables, having to pick a chose how you say and explain things and just general awareness of the fact that from my daughter's point of view everything is being interpreted differently. But I feel I'm hitting a brick wall constantly & nothing is getting any better. It's just getting harder and more difficult every day.
My children also share a room and my little boy is picking up on his sister's traits so I'm getting it from all angles now.
Does anyone have any advice on what steps I need to take or who I should contact to get some answers.

Thank you

Dear LilyRose,
(I am a Speech therapist with a specialiasm in autism)
I may not understand exactly what you are going through, but I do empathise with your words. For your son, have you thought about a simple social story to explain what behaviour is expected from him? With regards to your daughter, It sounds like you have already set up a schedule, simplified your langauge, provided visual support but your daughter is struggling with higher level langauge skills - reasoning, predicting and inferring meaning. Is this correct? Perhaps you could share a little more information about the triggers that cause the meltdowns, and I can try to provide some suggestions, other wise we are offering a free drop in on Friday 27th July and 3rd of August (I’m attaching a flyer for you), and you could discuss her needs with myself or othe members of our team.
Hope this helps!

Thank you for your message. I hadn't thought about doing a social story but I'm more than happy to sort that as his understanding is pretty good for his age & think that'll work for him.
I'd say she is definitely suffering from higher level language skills.
I'd say her main triggers are when being asked to complete tasks and just general jobs at home.
Homework is a real trigger.
Being asked to tidy her things away is another.
And normally playing appropriate games with her brother (which we have shown and explained to her which games are suitable to play) as they normally turn into very full on & rough where her brother then gets hurts.
The trigger then from that is from us having to explain why that wasn't the best game to play, which in turn leads to a meltdown because we have to move him away until she calms down.
The last few months her behaviour and attitude has become very aggressive when she's having her meltdowns and her whole attidue is very defiant whenever you try to disfuse the situations.
I hope that's some helpful information.
Im not 100% sure if I can make the consultation but I'll see what I can do.
Thanks again for your message