My 11 year old DS was recently diagnosed with HFA. He was placed in a an ASD unit attached to a Mainstream School in my area.
From Day 1 I knew and felt I had made a mistake by accepting to put him there under duress because he was struggling in his mainstream school which was preparing its Year 6 pupils for SATs, even though he loved it there. He obviously needed more support.
The ASD unit is the most toxic environment I have experienced in my life with constant shouting and swearing; very little learning and very low expectations of pupils. It is one of the worst places which I have ever witnessed in my life. My DS is getting worse and behaves so differently every time I see him when I go there for meetings. is it a cry for help?
To cut to the chase, my DS has been extremely unhappy there but I am still going through the EHCP so didn't want to move him till I got it. I have just had the MAM this week.
Because he is HFA, I wanted a Unit attached to a Mainstream. This unit however does not have any Therapist Support for the children nor chill out room apart from Sensory Session they have in a multi function space in the mornings. My son is isolated from his peers for this because he bumps into others I've been told. This makes him feel isolated and sad in the mornings. He is an only child and keeps crying and telling me he wants friends because he does not have friends at school, and that one teacher in particular, the same teacher who denied him a break when he requested it during SATs hates him too as he is always shouting at him.
In his own words "I feel I am treated differently to other children because the Teachers are always shouting at me and they don't do anything to them when they hear my friends telling me to kill myself, and this makes me angry and sad and I simply want to give up". He appears to be punished constantly by getting him to miss things and subjects he likes so often he is developing an aversion for them.
I was told he was on Level 2 by the SENCo even though an Ed Psych Report gave him a reading age of over 17years. He struggles to sit still for long periods and is claustrophobic too. According to him he was denied a break during one of the SATs Papers which really ticked him off.
All these I would not feel so sad and angry about but this is what has been happening to him now crosses the line.
For the past 4weeks and over, he has been incited to commit suicide by 2/3 of his peers in the Provision almost every single day. It is either "stab yourself" "suck arsenic and die" "kill yourself" "you are a retard" and he defends himself with aggression and swear words which he learnt from that environment. Our home is such a decent one and we DO NOT use swear words at home.
It has gotten so serious that at home he sometimes tells me he wants to kill himself, believes that he is useless, and says that there is no point of living. He has started wetting his bed on Sunday evenings in trepidation. Today he wet himself at school and he said it was out of fear.
The sad truth appears to be that all the teachers are aware. I am not sure what they do about but it is still going on and the children have not been punished. He even confirmed this on the MAM Day confirming it had happened to him that morning too stating time, place and who when asked. The more I express my concern the more he appears to be targeted. he even made a very sad drawing of his experiences at school over the weekend.
After it came to the Headteacher's attention he threatened me with harassment proceedings and after a meeting with him expressing my concerns, I felt fobbed off and to my shock horror it is still carrying on. He is encouraging me to pull my son out instead of actively dealing with this unacceptable "incitement" and the toxic environment in the Provision.
What are the options available for me? I know inciting a child to commit suicide constantly is Criminal but I am worried about the implications for EHCP-in-progress if I complain formally. I am also very sad to see my son so unhappy, and even if and when I pull him out of that school, I still think I can't just walk away leaving the other children in such a toxic environment because perhaps I am the only bold Parent. Now my health is being affected too and I am always scared of what could happen to him next.
I am new to the system. Please help.