Dyslexia and mental health

[Heartshapedfairylights]

Hello all.
My DS (9yo) was diagnosed with dyslexia and visual processing disorder about a year ago.
Whilst it has not been uncommon for him to avoid school work in the past, he has recently started to ‘shut down’, refusing to attempt even simple tasks. He is anxious about going to school, often complaining of sickness and not wanting to get out of bed in the morning. He has labelled himself as stupid and dumb and is embarrassed that he can’t keep up with other children.
DS is very emotional and has meltdowns frequently at home over the smallest things.
I’m at my wits end and don’t really know where to turn next.
The school are doing their best and we have an initial camhs appointment after half term. We are also starting the process of applying for an EHCP.
Has anyone got any words of wisdom? Been through something similar?
Thank you.

Bump

Hi Heartshaped I have a 9 year old with severe dyslexia and he is also very emotional especially around writing. He’s at a specialist school - there is no way he could keep up in a mainstream school as his reading level is about year 1.

I try to concentrate on the things he can do. We listen to a lot of books on audible so if there was a book they were doing in class, he would listen to it rather than try to read it.

I try not to do too much at home. I’m not sure how much homework your DS needs to do, but I keep it to a minimum beyond doing some reading every day. For any written work, I would scribe for him. I think he’s working 3x as hard at school so he deserves a rest at home.

I try to do hobbies that he enjoys and aren’t beyond him. Also ones that help with emotional control eg martial arts.

Any positive is praised - speaking in class, being a good friend, trying something new.

I really hope you can get some support from CAHMS and makes headway with an EHCP. It’s so hard to see them struggling.

Thank you so much for replying Rae. It really is heartbreaking to see them struggle.

We have been trialling Nessy at home instead of homework. My son is happy to do twenty mins a few time a week (most of the time). He has been resistant to any other form of work, including reading.
I looked at a specialist school a few months ago but it was totally unaffordable. It’s a shame the only dyslexia schools in our vicinity are fee paying. The school would have been perfect.
My son is so hard on himself. He’s a perfectionist. Anything he does has to be perfect or he has a meltdown. It’s amazing how what many people describe as ‘just dyslexia’ has affected every inch of his life.
Camhs have referred him for CBT but there is a four month wait. I’m hopeful that this will help. The school have now said that they will definitely go for an EHCP but on the basis of SEMH rather than dyslexia, which won’t be recognised .
Thanks again for replying. I wish you and your son all the best. It is exhausting and I feel as though I am ignoring my other child much of the time which creates more guilt

I recognise so much of what you’re saying.

DS2 is a perfectionist out of fear. He is so scared of getting it wrong that he won’t give it a go. I notice with my older DC who don’t have dyslexia that there was a period when they were learning to read and write that they just wrote what they thought even if it was wrong. They moved through that stage as they progressed. DS2 can’t do that.

Have you thought about a specialist tutor? When DS2 was in mainstream, he had an hour a week with a tutor. She went over sounds, played word games and encouraged him to write. He really liked her and would do more for her than he ever would for me.

Isn’t it interesting that they all seem to have the same traits?
Yes, he is seeing a tutor who he really likes and feels at ease with.
As a family, we are struggling with the mega meltdowns and school are finding him a challenge because like you said, he won’t attempt anything for fear of looking stupid.
Do you mind me asking which school your son goes to?
My son doesn’t even have severe dyslexia, it’s the emotional repercussions of it that are causing so much anxiety and trouble.

I’ve PM’d you.