Should I quit now before we even start

[dailymailaredicks]

DS is 6 and in YR1. I've suspected a processing disorder since about 3. I also suspected other health conditions that he has since been diagnosed with and another he is under a consultant for.

DH did not want to 'alert' anyone to my concerns, desperate not to allow a label to define our son. I kind of agree and so we've said nothing. Another healthcare professional was treating my sons and recommended he be screened for ASD, processing disorder and dyslexia. I cried because she was saying aloud what I had suspected. I contacted his paediatrician who took a week to decide that it is community paediatrics that would complete an assessment. My GP has taken 2 weeks to decide that he can't comment until I go in for an appointment. Meanwhile, school have referred to the school nurse.

She said school have to complete the dyslexia screening and an initial 12 assessment for the processing side of things. I stupidly said that his issues are sensory processing so not immediately obvious. She asked for examples which I gave. She then asked if I thought I'd benefit from some parenting classes.

I explained we had issues with behaviour but only ever as a reaction to something else. As time has gone on, I've been adapting my parenting style to be more in tune with him.

Apparently, if he copes at school with displaying a certain behaviour, and doesn't at home - it's the parents fault.

I'm not looking for a statement of SEN or additional funding in any way. He has needs, but I don't think they are complex to meet. But I need his teachers to work with me. I don't think they are willing to.

Seeing as the school nurse thinks issues are down to me being a shit parent, school won't do anything until he has a diagnosis, consultant won't touch anything community based and community will only assess within a school setting; should I save myself the pain and anxiety of this process and channel my energies where they are of most use?

WWYD?

I don't have the answers but relate to your frustration. It's easy (and cheap) to blame parents. Can you afford to have any of the assessments done privately?

Thanks Gilda. I don't want to do private testing I don't think. I want to focus on the everyday support provided in the classroom, and in theory, every child should have their individual needs supported. Is that right? School say all the right things but don't turn them in to actions. If I persist with them, are they obliged to support issues they see and agree are there? Regardless of diagnosis being present or not.

I'm just so worn down by 'the system' in trying to get my own support needs met, I haven't got the level of resilience I need to take on this battle right now.

I'm sorry to hear that things have been so hard for you to get support. I would absolutely push for your school to provide and fund an assessment. Whilst I agree with you about meeting the individual child's needs in the class, it's important to be able to give the school the information to work with so that they can help. You don't need to receive a 'label' if that's not helpful. I offer my patients parents a letter including the diagnostic label if appropriate, but also just a letter detailing the needs and recommended interventions if that suits them better. Hope this helps.

Thanks Sprouty

I just feel so jaded by my own struggles for support that I'm not able to stand up for my DS right now. I have an appointment booked with school, and I'll see where that takes us. I'm not going to push on the processing disorder as I think behaviour wise I've got a handle on it now, and it's not massively impacting at school. At the moment. I'll ask about dyslexia screening and other support in the classroom in terms of equipment. Thank you.

Good luck, sending hugs. There's always another day if you're too frazzled right now. Chin up xx