Nursery Concerns.with my almost 3 year old

[ladybirdlove91]

My lb is 2.5, 3 in june. He goes to nursery one afternoon a week.(i work at his nursery also)
January time his keyperson had a chat with me regarding his behaviour.

he doesnt talk and probably says no more then 8 words. ( he does have a speech and language appointment in may, after the "lets get chatting" groups didnt work).

she wrote out a "passport" form for him saying about his speech delay,has no awareness of other children around him (which she then explained that when hes out.running in the garden and bumps.into another child he wont stop and just continues) he runs around ALOT and mainly on tip toes and flaps his arms quite a bit. So i expressed my issue i had with him headbutting and general.chat.with the Sen lady. Who.basically said we needed to do some.form for the county sen team. And according to the girl who does the sen stuff at nursery, Autisum was mentioned. For me i dont know what to think.

At home he does run around but not half as much and will sit and just chill with me on the sofa. When he gets frustrated ( wether theres a reason for it or not) he runs and either headbutts the wall or.the back door hard. (sometimes he could be happily playing without.as.much.as a.winge and will just walk up to.w.e and just headbutt it)

after he does, he sometimes cries but im unsure if its because he felt the pain or.because ive sked him why. it gets s bit much on days where i do have to shout no. but this is something he only does at home.

we bought him a tablet with learning games on to try encourage his talking, but its like he has no sense of patients he cant handle waiting if an ad pops up on a video he watches on YT. instead of giving it to me he tries to bit the protective case or punches it.

Cars 3 dvd, another expample of something we've had to stop, a particualr part in the film Lightening Mcqueen crashes he sobs ( like heartbroken) and runs and bangs his head straight into the door/wall.

Ive started noticing more he remembers little details about anything he watches or places hes been.

if he watches a film, he'll copy something from it a minitue before it happens on the film. or if he watches cars 1, hes always pointing at the traffic lights or road signs. something i suppose wouldnt be that noticeable to others.

his obsessions are cars/trains/emergency service transport.
he likes sorting things. an observation his key person did was of him playing with small buttons in 3 colours. he sorted them into the colours but they all had to.have the writing on them.facing upwards.

very precicse in how he.does things/sets things out. if we move w.e it is hes playing with he moves it back to how he put it.

sleep.. well touchy subject in itself. hes probably slept through about 5 times in his life, we had such a struggle when it.came.to.moving him into.his.own room.
We cut his.sleep in the afternoon to half an hour because he was very hyper and.took about 2 hours or more to.finally go. we took him up earlier/later and got the same result. hes getting better but still wakes up.around 3/4 wide awake and gets really.angry when we try and lay him back down and at 3am no one wants to.hear that.

gets funny about crowded places
hates having dinner when its at a reasonable eating tempreture. he tests it 3 different ways for the heat. ( puts a finger in, then he puts his hand over it and then puts his.face near it just to.see if he can feel any.sort.of.heat)

ive tried to explain the best i could on the situation, the said.form.still.hasnt been done because my work place has a.ratio issue atm.

but his.speech is effecting him physically as we cant start potty.training him yet,.or he cant tell.me if.somethings the matter.

and socially, it breaks.my.heart.to.see him try to play with others ( when he wants.too) he taps.them and.if they dont give him a response he taps them harder, which makes.them think hes hurting them and he really isnt :(

just a confused mummy atm just dont know what else to.do/think

Last year I was in similar place to you. I’ve found the preschool based support grindly slow. Is the area inclusion offficer involved? If not push hard for this to happen they have access to other forms of support.

I highly highly recommend that you write all your concerns down ( try to keep to 2 sides of a4). Take them to your gp and push hard for a referral to a developmental peadtrician.

In the meantime also contact your health visitor and ask language screening, this will help to get speech therapy started. Prior to seeing the paedtrican you will need to arrange a hearing test and eye test. I found my health visitor was the best support for these. If yours isn’t try going via the gp.

The last year has been hard scary and frustrating for my family. We’re still a long way from getting all the answers and support needed. However, my son is making progress and is happier which is a good start. I’m coming to terms with the fact he most likely has Asd. It breaks my heart that this will make life harder for him and I worry lots. But it no longer feels as earth shatteringly awful..I have hope that a good future exists for him

he had his hearing test done and that came back fine. its like when i go to ring the hv i panic about what it is im gonna say to her xx

I found it was quite horrid asking for help because it made the problem feel more real.

Just say that you and his preschool are very concerned about his speech and social skills. Tell her you need him to see speech and language therapist. And ask her to help. If she doesn’t call every 2/3 days as sadly the more you ask the more you often get x

Just explain to the HV exactly what you said on here. For what it's worth your boy shows a lot of behaviours our youngest son did at a similar age.

He had delayed speech and language and was referred for SLT when he was 2.5. We suspected he was autistic then, but he wasn't diagnosed with autism until he was nearly 8.

yeah, ill.see what shr says. hes got an appointment with the slt on the 17th may, i got the referral feb time.

he did a chatty group.through a hv for 4 sessions but it.wasnt until.i saw.the same lady whilst waiting for him to be called.for his hearing test that she referred him there that day after i told.her there isnt no improvments.

his dad isnt so happy about the.whole.thinf tbh x

Hi your little boy sounds like my ten year old
At that age. He was diagnoised with Aspergers. He is now sitting
His sats and getting ready for Secondary school. My son
Was obsessed with pressing buttons like on lifts and crossing f the road. He also was obsessed with computers but would watch adverts and indents and repeat lines over an over again. I struggled to get him talking but I didn't have speech therapy access. He was also violent
And would kick and hit and hurt himself. I asked the nursery to keep a diary of any incidents so I could work out triggers and I also applied consequences at home if he has hurt anyone. I also used timers and had heavy routines to help stem his obsessions. He had to open the automatic doors at tescos ect and if anyone else got there. Score him
He cried like the world was ending. I sat one full day at tescos gradually increasing the distance to the door to help him deal with this need.
Your son will be fine, my sons speech only came
On at primary and that was with great difficulty I sat and had co
Conversations with him asking about his day and it was painful but with time and repative questions daily it worked. Any support or further questions let me know.

his speech and Language sessions start tomorrow. his tracker at nursery has recently been updates and was only 2 things he had improved on, the rest hes either in 16-26 months or the one below that. this morning for example, hes started to.want.to be more independent when we are out and about. which is totally fine but he has no awareness of the danger of roads etc. im.shouting stop and he carries on going so i held his hand which he didnt like and was headbutting my hand all the way to the stop. when we got there, he has a thing about flowers/leaves/sticks that ge has to hold or get one of the things listed. he kept gradually edging more to the edge of the road. twice i moved him untill he started screaming, sat him on the bench and he headbutted the metal frame of it, then held his hands out like he wanted me to comfort him for doing it? so i said no thats not good, kept it simple " road is dangerous". and then i gave him a cuddle. but its like he has 0 understanding of anything and thats what i find so difficult. its like no.matter how simple i say things he just doesnt seem to take it in or stay looking/sitting at/with me long enough to take in what i say. his referal form through nursery was sent 2 weeks ago so hoping i hear soon

He seems to be more intune than you realise. The wanting to be independent is great but when he is out near roads ect a firm no is needed but positive mummy will help ect, let him
Think he's in charge ask him where he would like to cross, use signposts to point to safety lights ect. I wouldn't let my kids be independent at that age as no child at 3 will understand road safety so don't think your on your own. Regarding the head butting
That is a behaviour down to fustration, now that could be linked to autism or that could be down to him knowing it gets a response. Have you considered a safety helmet to ensure he doesn't hurt himself? My youngest used to bang his head in temper but grew outta it. I know people will disagree with my next comment but I would again place a consequence chart for this behaviour and remove an item he enjoys and try this for a week and see if he improves, start a sticker chart I used to have one Monday to Friday days across and if my
Son got a full week of stars he got a special treat at weekend. If he behaves each day he got a sweet or a small treat, ect. Maybe try
That and see if you see any change

sometimes he headbutts in temper, other times its frustration if he cant do something like getting his train magnets to stick together. it was mostly out of nowhere for no reason, he never showed a sign that he was about to do it either not even upset before doing it.luckily ive not had that issue for a bit. just when he cant get his own way.