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SEN

Here you'll find advice from parents and teachers on special needs education.

New here, looking for advice (long sorry)

4 replies

Duskybluebell · 31/01/2018 11:36

Ds7 was an easy baby and toddler, but since about age 4 has had major temper issues which seem to be increasing in frequency. When he was at preschool I went to the GP who sent me to the HV who said it would resolve in time.

In reception there was a terms respite (novelty value of new environment?). Then things escalated, his teacher referred to ed psych who suggested he would find the more structured environment of year one beneficial. Year one went swimmingly, until about half way through when it all restarted and he ended the year with an IEP stating that he needed clear structure and rules, to be listened to etc. At home things were pretty rough in terms of his anger but by the beginning of year two had resolved.

Now it has probably been over six months since his temper has caused me to worry about him at home. The occasional meltdown but no violence, and he generally gets himself under control with minimal intervention from us. He takes himself off to his room (or gets sent) and emerges fairly quickly and calmly.

At school he is having frequent outbreaks of pure fury, having to be restrained by up to four members of staff and has now shoved a pregnant staff member into a wall (she is OK). He is oldest in his year, big for his age and physically able. He is articulate (when not having a meltdown) and teachers consider him bright. He is often charming and kind, helpful and very apologetic after each episode but unable to control himself.

He is becoming very isolated. Oddly enough classmates no longer want to play with him. He attends martial arts once a week which he enjoys but doesn't see the children there elsewhere. He used to spend a lot of time with dd15 but she is busy with GCSEs and her own life. He goes to a friends a few times a month after school if I'm working and she says he's great with her younger child and sets a good example.

The school have requested he be seen by behavioural support and ed psych again, but ultimately I have to face the prospect of him being excluded. I presume I should go back to the GP regarding CAMHS referral?

Just hoping for some pointers really?

OP posts:
springiscomingagain · 01/02/2018 15:18

I have no solutions but am in very similar position. Year 2 and was excluded last week. Isolated from peers, no friends. Is lovely at home bar normal 7yo button pressing but at school he can flip into very violent outbursts and is very near exclusion zone. Behaviour support have been useless. Ed psych great but school can't fulfil the strategies without more money support. Total nightmare. You have my sympathies.

rosalux · 01/02/2018 19:36

This sounds very much like my DS1 who is also Y2 but late August so very young. He's recently had an ASD diagnosis and we suspect ADHD is also likely. Have you considered possible SEN? It might not be but school is exceedingly stressful for my son, even though he is academically very able. At home we have struggled with violent outbursts but these have gotten much better recently. Feel free to PM if you like too.

Pixiedust1973 · 01/02/2018 23:32

To me, this doesn't automatically scream SEN at all. I have 2 dx ASD aged 16 & 18 & have ADHD myself. Sounds to me like there is lots going on at home & he is used to the company of adults & older kids, so being the eldest in his class is not helping him. He is also articulate & probably intelligent, so probably bored to death being stuck in with all the what he sees as "babies". A lot of this behaviour is probably bourne out of frustration tbh for all sorts of reasons. Home life must be very busy, so is he acting up to get attention?

How big is the school he is at? Is it a small school? Large schools with more staff & experience of various difficulties, plus more kids to find a potential like minded person to pal up with suit many kids better than you'd think. First instinct when a child is struggling can be a small school, but it can do more harm than good if your child doesn't click with the tiny pool of staff & potential friends there! Been there, done that, got the T shirt on that one!

GreenTulips · 02/02/2018 18:26

There's a few issues here
First the kids have realized that he's violent and keep away - but I bet they are winding him up for a good 'show' He has a responsibility here to speak up and be his best about what's happened

As part of this some teachers may jump to the conclusion that DS 'is always' wrone and therefor don't give him chance to explain

If he is excluded it may be better for him in a fresh start - down behaviour schools are brilliant

But he may do better at a school where the kids don't know him

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