advice about ds please

[Pobspits]

Ds is 8 and in primary 5.

When he was little he walked and talked early and was very bright and cheery. Didn't really have tantrums etc.

When he started school we were shocked that he REALLY struggled. Just didn't get any of it. Could barely write his name by end of p1. Couldn't draw etc.

He was seen by an OT who diagnosed hyper mobility in his hands and arms (also flat footed).

He had a brilliant teacher last year and his reading is great now. Starting to read Harry potter etc. maths is ok. Drawing still awful and writing not great in terms of legibility but also just getting anything written is difficult. He has good ideas but can't seem to transfer them.

In addition to this he is VERY emotional, often over nothing very much and screams and flings himself around. Only at home / with us.

He is a worrier and is easily scared.
He can't do things like tie his laces and has only just managed blowing his nose for example. He can't organise himself AT ALL. He either becomes completely consumed by something (eg football, before that Star Wars, before that toy story, before that Bob the builder) or he just can't focus even when he really tries.

I've self referred and waiting for OT appointment but he's getting upset and worried at school and his teacher has been pretty rubbish tbh. She did offer a laptop but he won't do it because he's embarrassed.

I don't know what I'm asking really. What can I do?

Also he's even now rubbish with cutlery and hates using it (we encourage). He can ride a bike (from aged 6.5) and can swim in a fashion but it's been a long road because he wouldn't put his head under and was very very anxious (eg would cling onto us crying saying I don't want to drown and be shaking) . He now swims under water better than on top.

Am waffling I think!

Have you looked into the possibility of Dyspraxia? My son has this. Bad writing, poor fine motor skills etc. It's much more common than people think. There's lots of info online. The writing alone could be dysgraphia, the sister of dyslexia literally meaning "trouble with writing" but hyper mobility and poor motor suggest dyspraxia. Hth

Sorry was too brief. Yes. Poor organisation anxiety are common with dyspraxia. Get OT and Ed Pych referrals to diagnose and help with the motor skills.

I have seen a fair bit of that in my DD who has suspected SPD without the trantruming side. She was diagnosed with Dyslexia but her resource teacher has told me she is sure she has SPD due to many of the traits you detail.

Not sure what to say other than we focus on nudging along particular issues at a time, her organisation skills, her handwriting, her course and fine motor skills. It is all very slow paced but we have seen steady improvement. Her resource teacher is also the most fantastic person I have ever met and she supports her from inside the school.

By SPD in DDs case I am referring to SPD traits akin to dyspraxia sorry I should have said that.

Another how old is dd? She should be seen by Ed Psych if spd is possible. Get a GP referral, a school GP or your family GP can refer. I'm currently awaiting my second referral for this. The first was useless. Don't let them fob you off.

He's 8. Waiting on OT getting back to me - will they contact ed psych? When he saw OT before they thought dyspraxia but said no because he could do things like stand on one leg for ages and other things I've forgotten.

He's very clumsy - better than he used to be but still completely unaware of his surroundings in the main apart from, weirdly, when he's playing football.

Also does anyone know if I can go see OT or GP (do I need to??) without ds there?? He has no confidence and I'm conscious I don't want to sit in front of him detailing his problems.

If you want a referral to ed psych go through a GP. Your schools SENCO may be able to arrange this or your family doctor. If in doubt go back to SENCO and ask. There are many causes to things like these. Can he ride a bike, do up buttons? I ask as they are typically difficult for a child with dyspraxia

Without being rude, don't wait! Senior school, year 7 or whatever it's called where you are comes frighteningly fast. He will need all the support he can get. A proper diagnosis can get access to help and possible DLA to access treatments not available on the NHS.

Thanks.

As I said he can ride a bike, use a scooter and sort of swim. He can do buttons and zips but not tie laces or use cutlery very well and is rubbish at opening unfamiliar packaging. Eg we have crayons in a briefcase type thing with flaps to flip to open. Dd (5) has never needed shown. Ds can't do it despite being shown.

Yes I'm aware time is marching on. He has 3 years left at primary (inc this year)

You can certainly talk to the GP without him there. I've discussed Dd with our gp several times.

Make an appointment with the schools SENCO. They should be able to point you in the right direction and they will know the process to get the referrals appropriate if they know their stuff. If the confidence issue is really bad maybe CAMHS could help? Always worth asking

Thanks giddy. Am totally out of my depth and feel like I've failed him but he did so well last year because his teacher was amazing,

Is SENCO like the additional needs support teacher?

Sorry yes. Sen co-ordinator it's called here.

Thanks. Am off to bed but no doubt I will have more questions.

Thanks for all your help. Feeling very guilty about it all but onwards and upwards.

Don't feel guilty. Many other parents are going through exactly the same and all feel that way at times. By asking for help you are doing everything you can. Get info, get help and, above all, stay positive.