Desperate useless mother needs help

[Yaj231269]

Firstly I'm really sorry to bother you all but I am so lost and really need some help I will try to cut a long story short
My youngest son is ten he has been with us since he was four I won't go into the details but life for him was not good before joining our family
Well too cut a long story short I have a ten year old that has had more appointments than hot dinners his paediatrician won't diagnosis camhs say he does not come under there remit until he is eleven and the school are not doing everything they can too help him.
So ten year old with social, emmotional, behavioural and educational problems moderate to severe
I have to apply for an echp and I'm petrified I'm going to cock it up and let him down.it is obvious to everyone he needs help and I have tried everything to get him help with no luck
If anyone has any knowledge of how to write a echp I would be so grateful.

Hi Yaj - I hope someone will come along who can help.

But you are NOT a useless mother. You are doing what the greatest of parents do, which is your very best. You sound like a loving, determined mother in horribly difficult circumstances.

I hope you get the support you both deserve

We have a local IASS (Information, Advice and Support Service). They are trained to support parents with the whole EHCP process, they have been a fantastic help to me. I would Google and see if there is one near you.

Each LA should have an Independent support service to help you through all aspects of the EHC process. Ipsea and sossen are two places that can offer really useful help. Plenty of mners will help you through it too, just post when you have a particular question. :)

I agree, have a look at the Ipsea and SOS SEN websites. I think SOS SEN also does workshops for parents on EHCPs, appeals etc.

In general if you need advice you will get a better response on the SN Children list, further down the page in the section after the AIBU one.

I would avoid Parent Partnership and their 'independent' support service like the plague if I were you! Not only did their advice nearly lead to my appeal being thrown out (and if you think that was accidental.....) but when I trained as an independent parental supporter to help in my community, I discovered that they only taught us about local authority's policies which, funnily enough, bear absolutely no relation to legislation! Independent it aint!

IPSEA is brilliant and they have a model letter that you can use - if you need help completing the letter, please feel free to message me and I'll do what I can.

BTW a useless mother wouldn't bother to fight for her child, so you are being a fantastic mom! 9 years ago, I was also desperate and so frightened for my son and about how I would live with myself if I let him down. I finally found IPSEA and realised there is a legal process that parents can use to stop their LA from acting unlawfully, and to make them fulfil their legal obligations. Discovering that legal process, and learning how to use it, has literally changed our lives and given my son a future.

Good luck!!

You're not a useless mother. This is an incredibly difficult process to fathom out. Quite overwhelming! I've not yet done so but am in the process - and I feel similarly. It's a wagmire!

You are not a useless mother. You clearly love your son, and are doing everything you can. Early childhood trauma can do all sorts of things to brain development. But it can be changed. I know what it is like to try and get support for your child, and feel like you are getting nowhere. The answer for me, was when I discovered the role that retained reflexes play in development. Can I suggest you look into it, and see if you can find a therapist who works with reflex integration.