DCD/dyspraxia - what does the future hold?

[ForkieForkie]

We have been asked by school SENCO to take DS (reception year) to GP to talk about some difficulties he has experienced. In short, whilst nothing specific has been named by the school, I think he pretty much ticks many of the boxes at the moment for DCD/dyspraxia. As well as some other possibly related issues.

I know I'm jumping ahead here, but I can't quite get my head around what an eventual diagnosis, if there is one, means for DS. I can see how he would benefit now from additional help but can't get the long term picture. Does he learn to work around his specific issues and proceed through education in a fairly standard way. Do children with DCD typically need help long term? Is there a "typical"?!

I felt very worried about this initially but actually he's an amazing resilient little boy and I think will cope with whatever the future brings. Just not sure what that is.

ds had OT and some Learning Support but nothing specific since Year 8. He has developed systems of working and coping mechanisms which get him through day to day.

My 10yo DD2 was last year assessed as having DCD.
She's a bit rubbish at balls skills, balancing and sport in general. She needs to hold a bannister to walk downstairs.
But with practice her handwriting is fine, she can ride a bike (though forgets if she doesn't do it for a while), and recently swam 100 lengths. She has poor upper core stability which means she finds it harder to sit still or stand still.

My 15yo DD1 was only last year assessed as having dyspraxia. She is 'worse' than DD2. She is more accident prone, still bumps herself going through doorways. She has organisational issues which affects essay writing and she qualifies for extra time and laptop for her GCSEs. She is a bit fussy on clothes and food textures but not as bad as some. Her handwriting for short things is OK (we practiced a lot when in primary), and she will do her maths and science GCSEs by hand.

So for us, we practiced the things we cared about, and let others drop. No doubt the girls would be better with ball skills if we ever bothered to practice them!

So I think the fact you're getting the awareness now in yR is great.

My DS with dyspraxia is now almost 14, so its been a long road, however despite most things taking a bit longer, he can pretty much do all the co-ordination things. For boys with dyspraxia in particular I think that physicality is part of overall body image, confidence and street cred as they get older.
Gross motor we were told was the main priority - so we started with scooters, the 2 wheelie no pedals ones and lots of choc bribes for cycling - it took longer than most kids, and was wobbly for a good while, but we got there. Likewise with tennis, football, rugby...We did lots of swimming, scooting, also OT, trampoline, judo too. Like with anyone the more you do, the better you become and then one sport helps another. Bizarrely we found he had a real gift for skiing which we were gobsmacked by.
Fine motor skills also took a lot of effort - we did OT, made oodles of playdough (despite sensory issues) - learning leading strokes when forming first letters and joined up writing from the start was a real help.
Later we did touch typing. (funnily console games have been no problem!)
Just tell yourself - there has never been a better time in the history of mankind to get this diagnosis - there is more help than ever before.

I do think it is useful to help teachers know what dyspraxia is - so do them a 1 page help sheet, reminder sheet and give it to new teacher(s) each year - simple things can help a lot - peg at end of row, tray at the edge rather than middle of the pack...Often children can have 'pressure needs' so your OT will help you figure out if they like deep pressure and how they can help themselves to self regulate as they get older.

I would say that there is a range or a spectrum and you will become the expert on what works for your child; just help other families and teachers to know what works, what are the signs of frustration, tiredness, how to give them time and space to regroup. Your library/local dyspraxia group should have lots of resources. If not - maybe start sharing books and set up a local swap group.

This is really helpful thanks. I think we probably need to start focusing on the help he needs. He doesn't get nearly as much of my time as he should. You've clearly spent a lot of time helping your children. I feel like our home life is a little chaotic.

He's already suffering a little confidence wise re the sports/physical side so good to read of your ideas/approach.

I have a friend whose teen DS is dyspraxic, but very keen on sport. As such he has spent a lot of time practicing and is competent but not first team material.

We have always done 'holiday diaries' to keep up/ practice handwriting etc in summer and Easter (not Christmas), and that has paid off for us.

DD2's swimming is great and has been good for her core strength etc.

You can't, imo, do everything, so definitely work out what is important to you / your DS and focus on that. But also accept that you can't 'cure' it.

With sport it is a case of finding an activity which suits. Ds has enjoyed climbing, skiing and sailing all of which have help core and upper body strength and coordination. Team sports have been an issue due to speed, quick reaction times and physical contact involved. Swimming ok but difficulties with coordinating movements, hyper flexible joints meaning that effort can be less effective and sensitivity to noise levels.

DD1 likes ice skating. Shame it's so far away.

Ds1 (14 nearly 15) was diagnosed late at 13 but I would agree with everyone above (except the person who did holiday diary my ds1 had a strong aversion to any sort of holiday diary ) Football lists of teams and favourite film lists were our writing practice (self initiated!!!)

For us ds's social skills were the main problem. He was friendly and empathetic but could not judge social situations would interrupt get upset tease other people thinking he was being funny - essentially bull in a china shop. He also had a lot of sensory issues - smells sounds irritating faces or comments affecting him a lot. Ds1 became very shy as a result of knowing he was likely to get a few things wrong every day. He was also quite naïve and over emotional when he was younger (still over emotional but that might just be typical teen reactions)

The school needs to know how your ds will struggle with some presentation of work and drawing etc as this seems to be such a part of the creative curriculum. Ds could never colour in neatly and although his handwriting is all right now his drawings are very very immature. Painting suited him much better or collage. Very important not to criticise him for being untidy or inept but to encourage him to continue making marks.

Ds1 loves timetables, downtime, music, structured group situations, kind older or younger children, sport where stamina rather than skill was judged. Anything he felt really good at made up for all the things he was bad at. Ds is brilliant at singing and has an excellent ear so enjoyed the violin.

We practised ball skills a lot but football was no use until he was about 8 and he could cope with missing shots.

Ds1 recently managed ski-ing, several long hikes for D of E, organised himself for a camping expedition for D of E, gets to school on time every day by bus, plays in an orchestra and reached Grade 4ish violin.

My ds9 sounds similar v to swans...he can ride a bike which is great for confidence and was ok on the 3 wheel scooters.. Wouldn't even try a 2 wheel one!
It was recognised about 6/7 but slow wait for appointments and ot here...
We paid more for v small group swimming and tried different places til he clicked with a teacher but is stuck as can't do butterfly stroke
Wish we'd done bit more ot earlier have now got school to buy some in ...
We struggle doing stuff at home as he's tired from school. But make sure we do lots of confidence building stuff and also am on school s case...meet all teachers at beginning of year..his yr2 teacher was fab would not let him say I can't but work with him to do what he could... That has paid dividends when he v struggles we say what would ms x say...
Check his eyesight n hearing as well .. Have to make sure ds sits in plenty of space and in table near front but not near doors n windows as gets distracted as v has super hearing...
Good luck ds has such an amazing way with himself and how he sees things its great

Hey Forkie...you've got some amazing suggestions here, and I'll be saving this thread for my DSs!

Please don't feel like you're not spending enough time...the suggestions you've been given will have happened over weeks/months/years.

I have four DC so know that feeling...sometimes I think it helps as I do forget that there are things that are more tricky for my DSs, however, in life they'll have to learn that also, and we tend to try to have a giggle a lot at home at and with each other, so when one just falls over for no apparent reason, the others love doing action replays and we all laugh.

Of course in an 'unsafe' environment among strangers that would be really upsetting for anyone, but at home, with love, I hope the boys learn to be able to approach difficulties with good humour.

OT has been brilliant. Also I have found the sports and hobbies they like, and have made it clear for the other ones it doesn't matter.

My boys hate football, they would hate to be in a very alpha male school. But ime schools are good at offering a range of activities. I have told them I don't care if they don't try at football and in winter made sure they had thermal vests on as they got cold from standing still!

Three/four years in to our first diagnosis, and it is fine. Their diagnosis is so much part of who they are, that I can't see where one stops and another starts.

I have found scooters so useful, as both get tired quickly walking, one in particular, and scooting is def easier for him (or me dragging him along!)

I hope you find your GP helpful...we were overseas during our diagnosis which also helped as it meant access to healthcare through comprehensive insurance.

Just marking my place as this is very interesting.

My ds sounds similar (although he is older and we have no diagnosis).

Can I ask what DCD is, please?

Developmental Coordination Disorder (poor motor skills etc)

Thanks, Teen

Can I ask - my ds was given a basic assessment by an OT at age 7.
'Because he could ride a bike and draw a triangle' he was assessed as fine.

But, at age nearly 11, his handwriting is shocking (and very effortful), he cant use cutlery / wash his hair / do shoelaces and is hugely clumsy.

He does do swimming but struggles to know which way up he is in the water and with the more difficult strokes. He cant do football etc at ALL and doesn't understand where people should be on the pitch / which way the goal is etc.

should I ask for another assess, do you think?
Can you have issues with some things and not others?

I think you should push again. Make a long list of all the things he can't do that others can. What about organisational skills, following bulleted instructions, spatial awareness, remembering etc?

DD2 was seen by the 'balance doctor' as we called him in reception, was behind but they weren't bothered, signed off 18 months later. Age 9 I flagged up she struggled with cutlery and walking downstairs. New assessment when age just 10 said DCD. They checked some interesting stuff and said weak upper core body strength (which is why she never sits still for long as too tiring) as well as other stuff.

DD2 is not as bad as DD1 who at age 15 we got a dyspraxia assessment for. As well as the DCD stuff she has organisational and spatial awareness troubles. We discovered that if she can't see her hands/limbs whatever she doesn't know what they are doing. So learning things like your list above take loads more practice then for more average kids.

DS nearly 16 was diagnosed in year 3 as dyspraxic, dyslexic and dcd, his fine motor skills were shocking and he had a chronically slow writing speed, something like 5 words a minute if it was legible. But he'd learnt to ride a bike at 5 without stabilisers so somethings he was fine with. He's never been sporty and as his spatial awareness is chronic football was out as he always bumped into people. He now climbs regularly and loves it, doesn't rely on anyone else and is building his core strength.

We saw an OT who suggested lots of games and activities and he had a bumpy cushion to sit on to give him a feeling of being grounded apparently he wriggled about to try and ground himself. Bit like what teen said he didnt know what his legs were doing as they were under the tabLe. Organisationally he used to be awful and I really worried when he went to high school but he's surprised me and the senco and is now organised in his own way, he gets homework done etc without nagging from me. Your DS with help from such an early age will develop strategies, and you knowing so early on will help you help him and help his teachers deal with him appropriately. I clearly remember ds saying " I'm glad I'm not just naughty I don't want to be naughty and Mr x kept saying I was!

My DS2 was diagnosed at 6. And the "label" did him the world of good - he was angry at himself and the world because he couldn't do things, but now we had a bit of paper that explained why he couldn't do things.

In Year 5 he was taught (via school) to touch-type and provided with a laptop. And he's flown (now nearly 17). Still can't ride a bike, tie shoelaces, catch a ball or hand-write with any legibility or speed, still needs a lot of help with organisation and has had to learn a lot of social skills, still walks on tiptoes and falls over nothing but he has a group of friends, did amazingly well at GCSEs, is enjoying 6th form and thinking about Oxbridge. I've had to shout and push and be "that mother" along the way - but he's done it - and your DS will get there too. MN has been invaluable.

Cant follow instructions ie brush teeth, pick up bag and coat.
He'd brush coat and move bag to another room.
Or take coat off and put toothpaste on hand.

I can give him socks 7 or 8 times in the mornings.
He'll put them on in his room and have taken them off again by the time he's downstairs.

At weekends he'll ask if its breakfast or dinner time, even if it's going dark outside in winter at 6pm teatime.

My DS (11) was diagnosed with it age 7, also AS. He has poor fine motor skills (handwriting, cutlery use etc, can't do shoelaces). He used a Maxi Micro scooter from ages 5 to 9 then made the switch to a two wheeler very easily. He didn't learn to ride a bike till he was 9, but is reasonably competent now.

His ball skills are brilliant, he loves ball games and practices a lot, he also loves playing darts and is good at ice and roller skating. He's not great at swimming though, despite several years of 1to1 lessons. He also struggles a bit with trampolining but has a very good coach. He struggled in a football team but holds his own at basketball and hockey, he pkays hockey in a club.

Organisation wise - it's extremes. He has had an adult standard grasp of dates, times, calendars since he was about 5 and always knows exactly what time it is and what's happening when. He organises himself for school without help. However he loses stuff all the time and isn't good at finding it.

iHave

Other things to consider:

• over sensitivity to clothes (labels, buttons, zips, seams)
• over sensitivity to food texture
• particularly liking tight hugs / swinging / rollercoasters
• over sensitivity to loud noises, flash lights

I didn't realise this thread was still going. A bad week brought me back to browse the SEN board. I have just read through and its so helpful and reassuring. We saw the GP a couple of weeks ago and she made a referral to the community paediatrician. I am guessing it could be several months before we see anyone.

DS has been having a difficult time settling back after Easter. He loves going to school, loves his friends but apparently his behaviour has been terrible. Has also been misbehaving at home. His tics which had stopped a while ago are back and quite honestly I'm a bit heartbroken to think of him being stressed.

As far as I can tell he is still struggling with being expected to sit still etc. He plays up for laughs. I know he does this when he can't do something. Part nervous reaction, part cover up. He isn't finding writing very difficult. Not getting easier, hates it.

He has been left behind (literally) by his little friends a couple of times recently when running around. Tries to look like he had got bored of the game but looks sad. I could go on. His self esteem is plummeting. He defines himself as naughty.

Grr...need to re-find my positive head. Re-read the thread and think about how to help my boy.

I really worry that he is at the wrong school. Its very very pushy. DH thinks that I'm overreacting but I can't help feeling the school environment could make the next 6 years harder than need be for him.

And thank you for your posts. Perfect right now to have something to read and give me focus.