First of all - thank you to everyone who has already pointed me in the right direction when I have been posting about this over the last year or so! 
And apologies that this post is a little long 
DS1 has just turned 4. There have been lots of signs that he was a little bit different from most other kids but not really anything severe 'enough' that it was easy to come to the conclusion that he needed to be assessed for ASD. I felt that he should, though, and got lots of support from MN and eventually he had his assessment last month.
We received the report from the assessment in the post today and I feel that it is generally accurate. There is no diagnosis on the report, which we knew that there wouldn't be. We have been invited to go to a feedback session with the pediatrician who met with us last month and wrote up the report, just to discuss what is in the report and to discuss where we go from here.
She told us 'off the record' that she felt that there would be enough criteria met for us to proceed with an ASD diagnosis. She also said, though, that DS1 is very bright and very capable and, as such, he is learning his own coping strategies which have lessened some of the behaviours which led to him being referred by Speech and Language / Health Visitor for ASD assessment.
What she was basically telling us, I think, is that whether or not we want a formal diagnosis put in place is up to us.
This isn't an area I really know a lot about and most of the information I have found online is about what to do in order to get referred for a diagnosis or what to do after you receive a diagnosis, not whether or not you should want a diagnosis for your child!
DH feels strongly that a label placed on DS1 at this stage might not be helpful. He is only 4 after all and is learning ways to cope on his own and 'growing out of' some of his sensory issues etc. and perhaps labelling him will only lead to him being singled out and treated as different.
The pre-school DS will be starting next week seem to think we should be pushing for a diagnosis because then they can use this to get the Education and Library Board in our area to provide a classroom assistant for DS. I am a little suspicious that they want to keep one of their special needs assistants employed and I'm not sure that their motivation in pressing me to do this isn't without some self interest.
Basically I am confused!!! I know the pediatrician will make recommendations when we see her on 25th Sep but I want to be prepared before we go to see her - what is the best outcome? Is there an advantage to having a diagnosis in place? If we don't go down this route, what happens if DS starts to struggle when he reaches primary age in 2015?
Thank you so much for your insight!!!