I really need help teaching my son.

[fairyfly]

I can't handle it, i'm impatient and a cow and i know it. I just find it so frustrating that he doesn't seem to click with anything. Homework is an absolute nightmare at the moment , we are both ending up in tears.
Everyday seems like we are starting from scratch and things he understood yesterday he has forgotten.
Sometimes he regresses so much that we are starting again with things he knew 3 years ago. It is an appalling thing to admit but i have ended up shouting at him for being lazy and not even trying. I then walked into the kitchen and kicked the oven door. I feel like shaking him sometimes.

I know he tries he just finds it harder than most and i honestly hold my hands up and say i need some lessons in how to get things across before i ruin his self esteem.

The teacher was useless when i asked, more pressure was the answer and i think it will crack him up if he gets anymore.

Extra support is given at school, i am working with him every evening. When will it start to all come together?

I feel so guilty for loosing my patience with him, i want to be encouraging, i want to bring the best out of him but it is slowlky driving me mad.

Any tips would be gratefully recieved.

( he is 7, undiagnosed as they say it is too early)

Think if it's making you both so miserable, you need a holiday from it. Teacher sounds spectacularly unhelpful. Let him do it himself, then after 20mins or so, do something you both enjoy and makes him feel good be it a book or a vid or making a construction toy, a board game or cooking. You are his mum first, not his teacher. A little boy needs a mum at home more than he needs a teacher at home, IMO.

fairyfly- haven't followed all your threads, but am an early years teacher who has taught the whole specturm and done a fair bit with children with special needs (but am not a SN specialist )so if you want some help with stuff cat me and I will do what I can.
Is it the specifics or the homework routine thing?

fairyfly- haven't followed all your threads, but am an early years teacher who has taught the whole specturm and done a fair bit with children with special needs (but am not a SN specialist )so if you want some help with stuff cat me and I will do what I can.
Is it the specifics or the homework routine thing?

ds can be like that with homework, and I've yelled and made him miserable too . He seems to lose all grasp of basic logic as to where to start and what of his knowledge he can bring to it. Never sure whether all the prompting adn cajoling is of benefit or if it is betttr to leave him to it for half an hour so that the teacher knows he is flagging.

What is the possible diagnosis ? Is the homework modified in any way for him as opposed to the other kids . Teacher sounds v. unhelpful but what about the SENCO ?

oops!

What SN do you suspect he has?

Visual stuff seems to work better than verbal stuff IME. With ds1 I turned sums into pictures. His Yr2 teacher does this for times tables too.

If it's getting to the point where it's taking ages to do homework then it's time to tell the teacher that it's too much. Ds1's Yr1 teacher advised me to just stick to a time limit and just let her know if he couldn't complete the work in that time.

FWIW homework can be hellish here too.

Cross-posted with Fio's post about dyslexia.

I agree with Fio, I don't think more pressure will help at all. I have no experience of dyslexia but have a 7 year old DD with dyspraxia. Pressurising her definitely doesn't work and to be honest, I don't force her to do her homework unless she wants to at the moment as I think she has enough to cope with at school.

Also, if the school aren't being supportive, is it worth going to see your GP to see if you can get him referred for an assessment ? Life became much easier for all of us when DD was diagnosed, took a lot of pressure off.

We have both just had a big hug and he began to cry so i joined him! It is so so hard for him, the pressure he is recieving is unbearable. They have recognised he has some sort of problem, put him on the sn register thingy ( sorry i'm not very good with all the jargon yet, part of me thinks he just has his mothers brain and sod all is wrong). Then they expect him to perform at the same standard as the rest of the class. It is chaos.

The homework is now done and i really feel like never doing anymore.My son gets miserable and i turn into a bitch. I have told him i am sorry for loosing my temper and that he is a marvellous little lad.

Fio you are right, it's infuriating he is getting told he will never get a decent job when he is 7 ffs. What happened to subconciously learning through play????

Robinpud, i would love to find what games help with written and number work. Games that he doesn't realise are teaching him. When we play connect four and frustration etc he is captivated and i would love to teach him in that way. Do you know of any?

I'm not sure it is dislexia yet, i am not guarded with enough information. I really need to get to grips with it all but we fall into day to day life and i'm afraid to say i let all this slip under the carpet.

I do know his letters always have been and always are mainly backwards.
.

The jargon is horrible isn't it ? That was the worst part I found when DD started to be assessed, lots of initals everywhere . Please don't think it's because of you, it is so much harder having a child who is "different" to the others in the class, loads of stress. Have the school written out an IEP (Individual Educational Plan) ? I personally think that he is assessed by someone, the right help now will boost his confidence rather than have it dented.

They have written an IEP and it means that for twenty minutes each day he gets extra support with his reading.

I can't help thinking my teacher just wants her regime sticking to and if anyone doesn't keep up they can just deal with it outside of her class.

Kittypickle, i just find it fill my head with even more nonsense without any practical guidelines. I was naieve in thinking a child just needed feeding and clothing and loving and the rest would just work itself out!

I guess the extra help each day is a start but his teacher's attitude sounds really cr@p. I was not at all ready for the problems in school scenario, but am finding it's a bit easier now it's got more familiar. We've been lucky in that the SENCO at the school is really really brilliant and has 2 children with dyslexia herself, so understands what things are like from the parent's point of view. Is the school SENCO any good and how approachable are they ?

What can he do at the moment FairyFly?
Does he recognise numbers to...
Can he write simple cvc words like jam cat etc n his own?
Can he add numbers to 10?
how's his pencil grip?

Fill me in and I will get back to you

It's a very small school Kittypickle, senco is alright i suppose.

Robinpud, recognises all numbers. it is anything beyond that, for instance, take one away, add one.
Fine with simple words, recognises them everywhere. Terrible at writing them. But can do it. Struggling with any word that doesn't sound like it looks.Words with five or more letters he gives up on unless heavily pushed.
Handwriting chaotic, letters wrong way round, can't stick the the line, prefers to write one word below the next instead of in a line.
Pencil grip is fine.
Progression on to the next level is what he is suffering with.
The stage he is at now has taken a long long time.

Would say it is not too early to seek a diagnosis if you suspect dyslexia.

Have a look at this website and get support for yourself from them also:-

www.dyslexiaaction.org.uk

I wish both you and your son well.

See the SENCO as well and be persistant with her!!.

Oh bless him, struggling away like that. THink he needs a proper assessment re his writing. How has he been taught to read? Jolly Phonics is brilliant I think and you can do it at home with him if you buy the workbooks from Amazon. they are quite playful and don't feel like work.
As for numbers, what about playing with sweets? ie I have three chocolate buttons, I eat one, you eat one, what's left? Here's one chocolat button, if I gave you another, how many would you have? Makes it more real, perhaps?

This website is especially for parents of dyslexic children. Hope it helps:

Schoolproof your child

Link doesn't work.

Sorry, I left out an i

Try this: Schoolproof your child

i am 20 years old and i have dyslexia. if u ever need help from seeing it from ur childs point of view i have 20 years experience.