Selective mutism-staying back in Reception class

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Need some urgent advice if anyone can help would be greatly appriciated.

My ds who is 5 in August has selective mutism and has fitted in really well at reception class since starting last year.We have been using the sliding -in technique these last couple of months and has proved really sucessful with him talking to some teachers and with a couple of children who he has befriended over the year.He still does not talk when I am not present in the classroom.

His first year reported stated how his undersataning is excellant and his abilities to do the work are not in question it's the speech problem he needs to overcome.

Last Wednesday a few days before the end of term I was approached by his teacher in the playground I might add and was told DS would be staying behind with another 5 children in reception class next term rather than moving with the other year one group.I was told it was a difficult decision to make and that he would still be doing year one work but also mixing in with the reception children so therefore going over last years work again.

I spoke briefly to the headmistress who told me it was all to do with numbers and class sizes and that DS was not being held back.There was no mention of DS's selective mutism and I got the instinct impression this had not been a factor when making the decision.

Since then I have thought about the problems this could have for ds in the future and that the sliding in was going so well and ds has built up so much confidence in that paticular classroom with all his familiar classmates and friends who of course he will be leaving behind when they move up to year one without him.

I expresed my concerns to ds's speech therapist who was anxious that ds needs to be with the same children he has already spoken to in class and that he could regress back and all the hard work we and ds has done could be ruined.
The speech therapist voiced her concerns to the headmistress and I am to go and see her again on Monday.

My main concern is that ds is accepted in his present class with his classmates who know of DS 's situation and are very accepting and ds has formed great friendships within that group and had started to talk to them.
In effect it will be like ds having to start all again with a new set of classmates who will be younger and also not know of ds's selective mutism and of course I worry he will get comments like "why does'nt he talk" etc thrown at him and this could set him back months even years.

I talked to ds's teacher on Friday and expressed this and I got the impression that these points had'nt been a factor in her and the headmistress's decision,she seemed generally surprised in what I was saying.

I fear that not enough is known about selectibe mutism and the teacher and headmistress have made this decision without taking the selective mutism into account and what dire consequences this could have for my ds.

I would be so gratful if anyone has any advice or has been through something similar.

My ds3 has SM too and if I were in the position you are with your ds, then I would fight tooth and nail for him to go up with his established peer group. I find it quite astonishing that the teacher and the head would not have taken this into account when splitting the classes.

You have to make a stand on what you feel is right and best for your ds. Get the speech therapist to back you up - adding her voice will be a very powerful tool.

I am curious though - why can't they fit those 6 children into year one?

QueenEagle-Thanks for your reply.

They say they have to keep to a certain amount of children per class.
I have not had my letter to confirm this nor has the other 5 mother's of the other children concerned although the other classmates mothers have had their letters.The head said she wanted to speak to all concerned before handing them out.

I have found out though asking around that one of the other children being held back has SM and another has AHAD.I would have thought putting the two chilren with SM together in this small grouping wold only reinforce their SM behaviour and that they need to around their peers who are talking and who they have bonded with and have built their trust and condifence in.

I have gone from being really upset to totally furious about this and I am not going to accept this without a fight.Not only for my ds's sake but for other children who may have the same problem with SM in the future going to that school.

In my opinion numbers of classes is certainly not a good reason for their decision and is certainly not my DS's problem.

I can understand totally that you would feel upset and angry at this. It doesn't make sense to me what they are saying about the numbers - I would be very suspicious that at least 3 of them have some sort of SN. Do the school have an ulterior motive. If I were you I'd ask what they are hoping to achieve by keeping your son back a year. btw what happens when he comes to move up to year 1 next year - will he be older than everyone else in his calss, or does his birthday fall in such a way that he wouldn't stand out?

And, I would alsso come from the pov that given your son understands everything (as does mine), how will he feel knowing all his mates are going up to "the big class" and he isn't?

QueenEagle-The school say in effect he is not being kept back as he will still be doing year one work but mixed in with recepion work.

He will be 5 in August so was one of the young ones when he started last year.We debated whether to start him at school in 2006 as by law he did'nt need to start until then but it was the school and SENCO who encouraged him to start in 2005.Which is rather ironic as they want him to stay behind in reception now!

I assumed as they said he was not being held back but just staying in reception due to classroom sizes that he would move up to year 2 in sept 2007.

As far as him understanding he would not be moving up with his friends I have not mentioned to him as yet as I am hoping it will not come to that.From what I know about SM though anxiety needs to be avoided at all costs and making him start from scratch again in effect would be highly stressful for him and I feel heartbroken that he may have to go through all that again.

Maybe it won't come to having to tell him anything, other than this is how it's going to be kind of chat. No need to mention being kept back. Maybe he isn't anyway, it just feels that he is. If he is going to be doing year one work then maybe you (and me are getting worked up about nothing?

I totally see where you are coming from though with the stress of not being with his peers though. This certainly needs addressing and the possible effects this could have on your ds should not be dismissed lightly. I would chat again with the teacher and/or head and stress this emphatically. If your speech therapist can put in her comments too, then they may change their minds.

I was wanting to ask you, if you don't mind me being nosy - when your ds does speak, is his speech clear? Mine is very unclear and to top it all off he has recently started to stammer at the start of every sentence which I am hoping is just a developmental thing rather than a true stammer.

QueenEagle-Thanks so much for your advice.

I just feel even though he will be doing the same work it's the fact that he has SM and the structure and routine he is used to will be a big change for him and also not being with familar the faces he has been used to.

I am going to try and get to see the head tommorow and have been swatting up on SM sites and am armed with lots of info to add to my agruement.They won't know whats hit them

I don't mind you asking at all,my ds does have a speech problem as well.His speech has improved so much recently but some words are difficult to understand and he tends to miss out vowels.He also says the last word in a sentence twice as well.Like "Are we going to the shop shop"

I have noticed just recently him having a slight stammer whereby he repeats the same word at the beginning of a sentence ,it sounds like he is having difficultly saying that paticular word.Although sometimes he does talk a lot and is quite impatient to get words out so it could be he is just trying to talk too fast.

Go get 'em, girl!

Interesting about your ds stammering too. Mine starts a sentence with, "I, I, I, I, I, want a jink" or "Wha, wha, wha, wha what daddy doodin?" (what's daddy doing?) Every sentence at the minute is like this.

He misses consonants off the beginnings of words too, so cat would at, etc. A lot of words are just gobbledigook though but we can usually guess at what he is trying to say based on what he is doing at the time.

He only talks to me, dh and my other kids. He refuses to talk to my in-laws, my dad or any other acquaintances at all. We have learnt though not o insist he does as this only made things worse for him. He is also incredibly shy which doesn't help, or maybe is one of the reasons he is like this.

Good luck with the school tomorrow, hope you get somewhere!

Thanks QueenEagle-

My DS was like yours when he was younger but know talks to my sister,niece etc but is very apprehensive to talk to grandparents or other people on the phone .He will talk to his dad on the phone and me but that's about it.

They say it is best not to push them to talk but it's difficult sometimes when other people try to get him to speak and I have to explain that he is very shy.

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Sorry no experience of SM here, but I'm wondering about classroom sizes. Do they mean the room isn't actually big enough, or the ratio of students to adults is too high?

I'd have thought that if it's the second, then doesn't that mean they've taken on new year ones? Either way it's the schools mess and not yours, fight for his place in the class. Convenient they've put the three children with extra needs down to repeat again....

Celia2 and lunavix-thanks for your advice.

It's really reassuring to know there is something I can do about this and I am not being an over anxious mother as I have been made to feel.

I would appreciate any other views on my situation.

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Sorry for bumping again,could really do with some more advice.

Find out if poss what they mean exactly by numbers and class sizes.This sounds like utter shite, as presumably they have enough places for the children already in the school. What stage of the SEN code is your ds on? Schools (in this area) must give a place to certain SEN children irrespective of class size (ie if max is 30 to a class, SEN child can be no 31). Check your school's SEN policy/speak to the admissions dept. I would also raise the fact that in September the teacher will be settling in new Reception children and would not give adequate attention to your ds(or the other children). In addition, the curriculum for Y1 is not easily compatible with that of reception and as a teacher that would be very hard to juggle. Complain in writing to everyone - head, chair of governors, SEN officer for the borough.

Thanks catrin for your great advice.I hace come up agaiest a brick wall at the moment.

DS's SALT has been brilliant and is writing a letter to the head explaining her concerns.She has voiced these concerns to the head over the phone but the head seems to not understand or does not want to understand!

Sorry catrin,not sure what you mean by SEN code.
I have looked at the SEN code of practices and am trying to find a loophole as you suggested about going over the 30 limit if a child has special needs but it is such a lond document am working my way through it.
Have spoken to governer for the school and he will talk to head for me but says he can only do so much without me complaining to the LEA.
I have also been advised that making a complaint could damage relations with the school in the future ,but surly they would be professional enough to realise I am looking after the best interests for my son.

SEN stages of special educational need dictate the level of support the school puts in/any outside involvement.(school action/school action plus?)
Where are you? They have different rules everywhere so it is hard to generalise about the way to go. The Senco for the school would be able to advise you if they have a SENo at the LEA and who it is. Check with yours to see if there is one. Senos carry more weight than Sencos (here at least) so would give you better advice.
I appreciate this could damage relations with the school but if you firmly believe that it is not in your ds's best interests to stay in Reception, then take it as far as it needs to go. Quite frankly, their system sucks, so go for it!

Thanks catrin I will look into it.

I am in Norfolk and not sure what rules apply here.

I have been given a contact number from the LEA for a school advisory support team and a lady who speciallises in selective mutism ,so she could add wait to my arguement,here's hoping.

Spoke to ds's teacher from reception after school just now and she said she understands my concerns and that they looked at it from another angle ie social mix,enviroment,education,numbers of classes but not from the point of view of ds's selective mutism.She was very understanding.So she has admitted to me that the mutism was,nt a factor in the decision. My point entirely!

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when i was at year 2 age i was kept behind in a year 1 class because of class numbers. it had a HUGE effect on my learning. although i was doing year 2 work, my social and emotional development was stunted. when i was scooted upto year 3 the following year i was behind with my learning and as i have dyslexia it had a detramental effect on how i learnt. even in high school i still felt my relationships with the other children my age was affected. i now work in a primary school and still see it happening to children and it makes me furious. with your child in particular he will skip his yr1 year and find himself in yr2 which is an important year because of SATs. i would strongly recommend you do anything in your power to stop your child being held back.

Hayrae-Thanks for your reply.

Since this thread I started another thread and my son is now in year 1.
It took a lot of phone calls and letters and persistance from me but it payed off.

He started in reception for a few days and he was distraught .Since moving to year 1 he is a different happier little boy.

I would suggest to any mother in a similar situation trust your instincts,you know your child best and fight for your childs education.

Sorry you had to go through that.Now you are working in a primary school you are ideally placed to look out for simialar situations that arise and use your own experience to advise.