Confused....possible AS or just a 4 year old boy with some individuality?

[london11]

Hello! My DS, 4 can be challenging but after a recent incident at school I have begun to record the behaviours I have so far thought just made him...him. I have been googling (probably a bad idea!) and reading some threads on here and am wondering if he is maybe on the spectrum somewhere for Aspergers?

• He is in Reception and has previously attended pre school, he never settled at PS and continues each morning to be difficult to get into school needing me to go in with him, help him put his things away, stand in the same place, hug and kiss him and even then he will cry when I leave.
• He is not making friends of his own age but instead seeks out older children in the playground. He doesnt seem to know how to join in with his peers, he either plays alone or barrels into a group and messes up a game/hits someone to get a reaction
• He is very anxious about lots of things. e.g hates churches and wont walk past, cries and puts hands over ears if church bells ring half a mile away. He cried for a 20 min car journey the other day because of the noise the car made driving on a wet road.
• If anything is different to usual he worries, it was dress up day at school last week and he had complete melt down at wearing a costume and everyone else being dressed up. They struggled to calm him at school and eventually he hit a teacher round the face :( We went away for the weekend and he needed to know the name of the roads we were on, were we were going, if we had enough petrol, if I had his pj's and clothes, where he would be sleeping, who we would see...the questions went on and on and round and round in circles.
• He reacts with anger very quickly and lashes out especially at his brothers
• When he is playing he spends long periods of time lining things up in lines or squares, he gets very cross if these lines get moved or messed up and returns to check the line is still there regularly

But, he is smily, happy child, makes eye contact, laughs at jokes, has no food, sleep or toileting issues. He appears to be making progress at school with phonics but is neither highly intelligent or behind as far as I can tell.

So, am I talking myself into something and actually he is a 4 year old boy with some individual behaviour that he will likely grow out of with support or should I be seeking some further advice. Opinions welcome, many thanks.

I'm no expert but I would ask myself:

1. Do his sensitivities interfere with his ability to cope with life on a regular and frequent basis?

1. Are you and other people who are responsible for him able to offer him the support he needs in everyday situations? Or do his needs sometimes seem tricky to meet?

If yes to these then go and seek further advice. School might be a good place to start for a second opinion and GP who may refer you in the first instance to a pediatric team - they will then help you to understand if there are areas he needs extra help with.

If you do go down that route, you can stop the process at anytime if things settle down.

Given what you have written about your son I would ask the GP to refer him to a developmental paediatrician.

Doing this via school could take an age so a referral via the GP should be a bit quicker to obtain (but you may well wait months in order to obtain an actual referral).

You may also want to post on the Special Needs; Children's part of this website as that particular forum receives far more daily traffic than this one does.