ADHD in 4 year old?

[Kyrptonite]

I hope I'm posting in the right place. I am at the end of my tether and baffled as to where to go now. DS is 4 and has always been hyperactive. In the last few months he has been getting increasingly hard to handle. He is loud, constantly talking and can't seem to switch off unless there's a screen in front of him. He is very violent at random and this is happening at nursery and at home. He calls people names, he wants constant 1:1 attention which is not feasible. He used to go to bed every night at 6 and now its more like 8/9 by the time I can settle him and he gets up at 6am.

Nothing I do or say seems to make a difference. I've tried time outs, taking away toys/treats and praising the good behaviour. Nursery say he is highly intelligent and when he is being good he is an angel but 90% of the time he is a nightmare (I hate saying that).

He talks over people constantly, he screams and lashes out over very small things and he cant sit still. At meal times he will be out of his seat every 2 minutes for one reason or another. He still isn't fully toilet trained and will have days when he is completely dry and others where he will have 5 or 6 accidents. He has pooed in a toilet about 7 times ever, usually it is in his pants and he wont always say he has done it. The doctor gave him constipation medication but it hasn't made any difference.

He is always on the go, always fidgeting. He climbs everything (found him trying to climb over the bannisters earlier when he was supposed to be in bed- he has no fear). I work in early years and the other 4 year olds I see are nothing like this. His nursery manager is MIL who says he is just a typical 4 year old boy but he is not like anything else I have ever seen. DP has ADHD that wasn't picked up on for years and he suffered at school as a result. He says it's just me giving into DS and not being consistent enough with discipline but he is like it at nursery as well. We haven't had a week without him hurting another child and I don't remember the last time I looked forward to spending time with DS without dreading what would happen.

If I take him to the dr's will they just think I'm a crap parent? Sorry this is so long. I don't know what to do. He starts school in September and I don't want him being labelled as a naughty kid if there is an issue.

Sounds very much like my DD who does have ADHD. To get a dx they need to exhibit the same behaviour in more than one setting, so if nursery won't back you up you won't get one. Also they don't like dx 4 yos.

Once he is at school you'll need to get the SENCO on side. Our GP asked for a report from school because she said they take referrals more seriously if they are from school, rather than an 'over-anxious parent'.

But it won't hurt to try your GP if he/she is sympathetic.

DS's key worker backs me up on this. I also work at the nursery but I don't suppose I could refer my own child .
I'm going to speak to MIL tomorrow about it and I have a notebook so that anything DS does can be recorded and I can show her what exactly is going on.

It's a very small school he's going to with only 46 pupils altogether. I'm hoping this means they might pick up on anything sooner rather than later.

Arrrggghhh it took 4 hours to get him to go to sleep. He was up at 7am, outside running around all day at nursery from 8-4 then dinner, bath, stories and bed. But it took until just now for him to sleep.

He never seems tired, he is just constantly switched to go. I'm utterly exhausted.

Have booked drs for Monday morning to see what they say.

You could have described my ds at that age particularly the hitting thing which was prob the most stressful part. Mostly there was no apparent reason for the hitting, sometimes it would be out of the blue if there was another child just in close proximity.He is now 9 and was diagnosed at 6 by paediatrician . Don't get fobbed off by the gp, seek another opinion if they don 't take you seriously.And don't listen to the people queuing up tp tell you that he s "just a boy, they are all the same blah blah " . Only you know, and if your gut tells you he needs help then that is what you need to do. ADHD can be a genetic trait so your dp needs to get on board and stop undermining your efforts. yes discipline and consistency are important, but its so not as simple as that, if only it were.good luck.

Krypton try posting this in the Special Needs Children section as well. Meanwhile, go to your GP with all your concerns .. print out your original post and add anything else you can think of, that way you won't be trying to think on your feet. He is still little, but I do know of younger children with a dx because it was severe. Nursery will have to be honest in anything they report on your son and should an assessment go ahead, it sounds as though they would have their own concerns as well. My ds2 is ADHD (as am I) and aged 4 was a dynamo. Now aged almost 10, he has calmed down lots (no meds), but is so behind at school as also dyslexic. Your description of your ds does sound extreme, the aggression, soiling, unpredictability, screaming and lashing out. I think with all this evidence it would warrant an assessment of sorts and there could be other stuff going on too. Good luck.

Thank you. I will repost in the relevant section tomorrow when on laptop.

Thank you for the replies. It's reassuring me that I'm not looking for something that isn't there IYSWIM.

Honestly - what I would do - cut down sugar/processed food/ food colourings/screens (TV + computers etc) and give omega oils. Encourage lots of outside activity and see if this makes a difference. I know this will be hard, but it might make a difference