Hi everyone, I'm new here so hope this is the right place to ask for advice.
I'll try to keep this short so I don't bore you with too much detail. My son is 15 yrs old and was diagnosed with autism in January this year. He's in yr 10 at high school but as been on elective home tuition since yr 8 after being bullied at school.
He's always been a very quiet, shy lad but did have a small group of friends all through nursery & primary school. Things seemed to get worse in high school & he slowly became more & more withdrawn enjoying time alone in his bedroom doing his own thing.
To cut a long story short, we're now at a stage were he very very rarely speaks & practically lives in his room. He can speak very well & is very bright & intelligent. He just chooses not to speak and communicates when necessary through sound, shrugs & head movement and the odd word now and then.
He's been to Camhs & spent some time on the day unit there, we've had countless appointments with child psychologists, councellors etc. been referred to social services at least three times. My son just won't engage or speak to anyone, he gives no eye contact & the rare times I've actually managed to get him out of the house he's a nervous wreck & you can clearly see the discomfort he's in leaving his comfort zone.
Some times I just feel so bullied & helpless, of course I want to do all I can for him I love the bones of my son. I've been made to re register him on a school roll so that he can have hospital home tuition. That seemed to go well at first, the tutor visited and I had to take work to his room and bring it downstairs when completed. He was hitting and exceeding targets of his year group in maths, English, science & ICT. Sadly because he wouldn't engage with the tutor personally that was pulled and I was told I had to get him into their teaching unit full time. How they expected me to do that when he wouldn't even come downstairs for the tutor for an hour & half 3 times a week was beyond me but I agreed to try.
So far I've been unable to get him to leave his room and go to the unit, Monday will be the start of my 2nd week of trying. I've done everything I've been told to do, take away his computer & only allow him limited set times on it so he has to earn extra time on it by engaging with the family and going to the unit. I've been told when he does come downstairs not to ask him what he wants over & over and not to give him options he can nod, shrug or shake his head to but to simply ask once and wait for him to speak. I've tried all this for over 3 weeks now with no change. He just spends time reading, drawing etc when his computer is removed and will just return to his room when I don't give options. I know when he does come down its because he's hungry, that's basically all he comes down for but not offering a choice of food options and waiting for him to tell me what he wants is not working.
I ve been informed that if I don't get him to the teaching unit on Monday, I also have to fill in a caf? Form that day too, that they will refer us back to social services. I would just love to know I'm not alone in all this and would dearly like any advice anyone can offer :-(
TIA x x