6yr old needs urgent ASSESSMENT by professional perhaps!

[mokimbs]

I've been an occasional visitor to this site to read the "mood" in mumsnetland from time to time. I was forced to register as I now feel an urgent need to seek the help and advice of you mums on here to help me in my plight.
My son is in year 2 in a lovely infant school but has really since nursery, failed to fit in properly at school. He has done all sorts of strange and unsocial things over the years that has made his teachers and Head Teacher very concerned from time to time. He is very anti-social and will mainly play alongside other pupils but not with them. He talks to himself when playing. He has no firm friends at school so no party invites, etc. He fidgets alot on the magic carpet at reading time, etc. I've had to teach him to read as he was not getting much help at school, his handwriting is bad and I'm now spending 30mins each day getting him to copy text to try and address this issue, he does not maintain eye contact and seems not to hear when called. We've been to hospital for tests on this and his hearing seems perfect so they think it's behavioural i.e. he chooses to ignore people. Also, he plays the voilin quite well and likes to sing! He's also very gentle and quite affectionate so he's really lovely but I'm tearing my hair out over this. Incidentally, his older brother is the complete opposite, very bright, musical, sporty, popular with lots of friends, nearly perfect! Please mums, MY QUESTION IS should I get him privately assessed and by whom so I know for sure if he has or hasn't got dyslexia, dispraxia, or anything else.

are you in the UK?

I would try posting in the Special Needs section - there are plenty of experienced people who will be able to help you.

Hello, it might be an idea to get this moved to education or SEN as there will be lots of mums with more experience to help you.

if the school are concerned also then have they had the SENCO involved?

the school can refer to the community paediatricians who will assess him and then refer him onto other bodies (if necessary)

He sounds to me like he could be on the autistic spectrum, a children's unit at the hospital can test for this provided you can get a referral from your GP.

My son is autistic and your post could almost be about him. Lack of social skills is the main characteristic of an ASD (autistic spectrum disorder) and the lack of eye contact nearly always features.

Hello We have moved this thread to Special Educational Needs
Thanks M Towers

Thanks all. Thanks too for moving the post to the correct thread. In answer to the questions, yes the SENCO has suggested a further assessment. She also referred him to the hearing specialist and they said he was fine. Hears OK just ignores people. The speech and language people also said he was OK and that it could be behavioural. I just am a bit worried about the SEN label which mums in the playground seem to think wrongly label and child for life, even! So I thought perhaps a "private" assessment first? I'm not cash rich but I certainly don't want my child labeled Special Needs yet if it might be a call for extra attention, etc. Thanks guys, keep the replies coming. Thanks!

there shouldn't really be any need to pay privately tbh.

i would speak to the senco again and ask for him to be referred to a paediatrician, if that fails then see your GP and ask for the same. either of them can do the referral.

what area are you in (roughly)? as the process can vary from place to place and there may be someone in the same area as you who can specify who it is you need to be seen by

in our case it's the community paediatricians but I know in some places they refer to CAMHS first