First of all I should say that we are in Ireland so there are differences in the system.
Ds is 11 and was diagnosed about 3 years ago. Since then his teachers have really made an effort to engage with him and find ways to help him achieve, e.g., rather than writing a story/essay he will do a mind map/comic strip. However this year we have a different experience because (a) cutbacks have cut resource hours for dyslexic children and (b) he performed 'too well' in his yearly tests 
and so he is not deemed 'bad' enough to get additional help.
I feel he is really floundering particularly in English and history. He used to be in a group of 3 for these subjects, but now is with the main class, many of whom are very academic and he feels his work in inadequate in comparison to theirs. His teacher, who is a nice guy but pretty inexperienced has been 'encouraging' ds to do better but ds interprets this as criticism and feels that nothing he does is good enough. Ds is very sensitive and you do have to be careful how you say things to him. When I told the teacher that ds was in tears over the teachers 'encouragement' the poor guy was mortified. It's very tricky.
His older brother (also dyslexic) began secondary this year and the help he has been getting has been great. He was immediately exempt from Irish, and the ed psych at the school recommended that he use a laptop for all written work, which has been a great success. Now, ds2 has appalling handwriting, much, much worse than ds1, so I have been thinking that maybe we should do the same for ds2. He can touch type and when he uses the computer at home, produces much better work than if he was hand-writing.
The other problem is with his behavior, at school and at home and I really feel that there is a direct link between the fact that he feels so demoralised academically and his acting out as a consequence.
We had our first session with a psychologist last week, primarily as he seems so unhappy and he also has issues with food, as in he eats very little of it, but that's another thread entirely!
I am meeting with the class teacher and head on Tuesday, and am trying to work out what to say. I think he needs additional help, but I'm sure they will say they don't have the resources. Maybe I should look into tutoring for him.
Any ideas would be much appreciated 