I have been waiting for this appointment for 2 years. Today she went into school, met my DS (8) observed in class, at play & 1:1 for an hour. I then met with her & his class teacher who is also the SENco.
She made some very acute observations of my DS, none of which I disagreed with, and indeed gave me a much greater insight into his behaviour at school.
She very clearly thinks he has ADHD. Dismissed all the work done by the OT, and said that he fits some of the profile for ASD, but not all of it. That we should try her recommendations & that we will see a different child in 2-3 weeks. His social inability to read people, not being able to get jokes, his strong moral code which leads him to think it is ok to hit people if they don't follow the rules...all will be resolved by telling him that his friends will no longer like him if he continues to act this way 
she was irritated by the fact I didn't just say thank you very much & wholeheartedly agree with her.
Sigh. I'm afraid I vented my frustration at effectively being told something different by everyone we met. I feel like a massive failure.
Having spent a lot of time lurking on this board, I have tried to be as proactive as possible. We have taken him for a private OT referral & was found to have multiple sensory issues which we are dealing with. He has issues with visual processing, auditory processing, a retained autonomic neck reflex all of which we are trying to support.
I have gone to the gp & we had a referral to the child development team. The dr observed him in school, and felt that there were elements of ADHD, sensory issues and ASD. She referred him to the ADHD team to see if that was the main issue.We did the Connor's test. He scored quite high for school, but low at home. We saw the specialist & she completely dismissed the idea of ADHD - to the point of me saying are you sure? He will been seen again in 6 Mths.
Thank you if you have read to the end of this post.