DS just been statement ed for dyslexia, how to tell him?

[outofteabags]

Help. We have at last had dyslexia confirmed but don't know how to tell our DS. We know that he is going to be upset due to his perception of the situation. He is desperate not to be seen as different and his self confidence is on the floor. We had thought he wasn't going to have this as a label but it's confirmed and will significantly affect his education. It's so hard, as a parent you know it's going to be fine but at 9 you see things in black and white.
Any advice really appreciated

the label won't significantly affect his education. (other than helping it)

his confidence is on the floor because of his difficulties, not because a label has been applied to them.

the label and statement (am slightly in awe that he has been statemented for dyslexia btw, that's amazing) will help him access the support he needs, so that he can improve his confidence.

i think you need to stop viewing it as an end of the world type scenario and just be calm and factual about it. the dx and statement are there to help him. he isn't going to have 'idiot' branded on his forehead.

make an appointment with the ct and senco, and discuss where to go from here. what supports will they be putting in place, how will they work on his confidence as well as his academics etc.

ds will be fine. he already has problems, they have now been given a name, so as long as you treat is as a prefectly normal piece of childhood and learning, he won't freak out.

your job now is to work out what will help him , and ensure the school put it into place. (this is of course their job as well, but somethimes they don't do it, so you have to be on the ball)

what provisions are in the statement? does it name specific interventions? give additional time? 1-1 support?
you need to go through these with him and explain how they will help him.

it's great that this has been identified. now you can all work towards supporting him.

We don't see it as end of world at all, quite the opposite! He is the one who isn't going to be happy. He already asked us if he was dyslexic due to something he read in a book and we said no.
Why surprised that he has got the statement? It is very clear, he will be given 25% extra time in exams, likely to work with a laptop and dictaphone plus a range of other supports.

it's great he has a statement, just with dyslexia it can take some fighting for. it was just slightly surprising that you went from thinking he wasn't even dyslexic, to then getting both a dx and a statement. not bad in any way, just really good news (which isn't the usual thought process re stat assessment!)

if you are relaxed about it, he will be too. just make it a positive scenario and explain how the dx will help him. it will be fine. as you have already had half a conversation about it from his book, you can use that as a starting point, and say 'well, i guess we were wrong, what made you think you were dyslexic from the book? clever you! you were right! now we can make sure you get the help and life will be a bit easier!'

yeah, 9 yos all want to be the same, but life isn't like that. he will take it in his stride if it's normalised by both you and school.