DS2's 11, off to senior school this year and now they seem to hear me?

[CuriousMama]

Ds2 has had different problems all through his school years and had to see umpteen professionals. I've always suspected aspergers, voiced this, but he has never been diagnosed. Now he's in the midst of SATs revision and his behaviour is getting worse. He's never been a naughty child, don't get me wrong, but could come across that way. But it's his communication problems that hinder him. I've just had his teacher on to discuss his grinning and laughing in class. Also he lies and grins afterwards. I have big talks with him but he just doesn't get it? She even said today she thinks he may be on the spectrum. She knows he doesn't mean to do a lot of the things he does which is a good thing, she does understand. He can take things quite literally too. Another thing is he has a major button phobia and is getting CBT for this at the moment although he isn't wanting to cooperate.

Has anyone experienced this at such a late stage? I'm wondering if the stress of extra study is exasperating traits? Maybe it's something entirely different? Autism is rife in our family, is it inherited?

I have been in tears today just thinking of him at seniors. DS1 has sailed through and is top in most subjects and this adds to my worry tbh. I'm over the moon that ds1 is so bright but feel bad for ds2, thinking he'll be compared by teachers? That's why I need a diagnosis. I don't want him labelled a naughty child. When I went to ds1's parent's evening late last year I had to have it with the deputy head as ds1's teacher was absent. The Deputy said how lovely it was to deal with a good child for a change as she usually deals with bad ones I said 'what a lovely label' and she was a bit flummoxed. DS1 said afterwards how awful it was of her. [proud] When poor ds2 goes there he'll not know what's hit him.

He came out of school tonight a bit chattier than usual. He actually told me about his day Also told me his teacher had a chat but wasn't too upset. He said he just can't help it

CM,

"I've always suspected aspergers, voiced this, but he has never been diagnosed".

Who did you originally voice this to?. Why were your concerns seemingly denied?. That has done neither of you any favours really.

For his sake as well as yours I would pursue a diagnosis now although this could take some considerable time to achieve. You need the GP to refer you to a developmental paediatrician.

I would also make contact asap with the secondary school SENCO and make sure DS2 is flagged up to those people because he will more likely than not come across problems at secondary school. You need to therefore try and preempt this as much as you can and he will need more support there.

I would also apply for a statement now from your LEA and even if you do not have a diagnosis. Statements are also for social/communication needs; also if he has a statement his legal rights are protected. No other plan is legally binding.

www.ipsea.org.uk is a good website.

You may also want to post on the Special Needs:Children part of this website as that forum receives far more daily traffic than this one does.

Really CM, you are your child's best - and only - advocate here. No-one else is better placed than you to fight his educational rights corner for him and this is also because no-one else actually will do so.

Thanks for the post ATM.

I've mentioned my concerns to his SALT, teacher and also to someone I saw at CAHMS (for button phobia) That person said she doubted aspergers as 'he has imagination' DS2 does play a lot with little figures and makes up games but tbh I'd say it's obsessive? His social skills are very lacking.

I think his teacher is going to get the ball rolling now. I just hope it isn't too late? He'll be at seniors in September. It's so heartbreaking.

He sounds similar in some ways to my DS who has a dx of Aspergers.my DS does have an imagination - but it is in a lot of ways fuelled by books he has read or TV programmes. He is intelligent BUT has social problems.
We have managed to get a statement for him.
(I am fed up of people saying really and how did you manage that ? - they are the ones that DONT teach him and deal with him every day and see the bad times ).
Even flagging him up for secondary if you do not get anywhere near a statement would be a help for him in transisiton - they do not have to have a statement to have extra help in place for this I am told. We will be going through transition to high school ourselves this year

"I think his teacher is going to get the ball rolling now"

Never assume anything with regards to school.

If the above comment is with regards to a statement app, you'd be far better off making such an application yourself. You will know its been done then and schools can sit on such applications for ages. Time is of the essence here. It can also take around 6 months plus to get a statement set up.

Use IPSEA's website www.ipsea.org.uk if you're wondering what to write to the LEA.

Also start talking to his senior school, get to known the SENCo. It maybe better than you expected.

Thanks for your posts. Alison good luck to you for you and your son.

Thanks again ATM I will write myself.

I applied for DS's statmement myself - but told school and had their support - they seemed to think that the process would be quicker if I did it. It took about 6 months or so - maybe a bit more from start to finish and now I am taking them to tribunal as it is so badly written. It can be a long process so start going now.
BTW put Everything in writing to the school and LEA it established proof and a timeline.

Good luck

Thanks alison222.