Can anyone advise me on whether I should seek a statement for DS1 and, if so, what on earth I should be asking for in the statement? I'm at a loss.
I'll try to keep this brief (not easy!): DS (12) has a diagnosis of Tourettes, OCD and social anxiety. He has a history of school refusal because of anxiety and, during his last year of primary school, he was signed off sick for anxiety and educated at home. During this time, he was - finally - diagnosed. He was put on fluoxetine, which did wonders for his anxiety and OCD. He was also referred to a CBT therapist, who is still working with him.
DS1 started secondary school last term. He was given an EWO who worked to familiarise him with school. He was put in a special needs' class, which is smaller than usual and provides more support, and allowed to leave class if he felt anxious and go to sit with the house assistant. He had a very caring tutor, who kept an eye on him and kept in close contact with us.
He did really, really well. He made two new friends and loved being independent and socialising with them. He discovered that he loved drama. He did well in his lessons and was rewarded with lots of housepoints. He behaved very well at school and was given an award for not getting any 'behaviour logs' after a whole term.
However.... as the term went on, DS started having more and more days off sick. It was hard for me to know when it was anxiety and when it was a virus because the symptoms of anxiety are physical - stomach aches, sickness, headaches. Some days, I insisted that he went in, but would then get pitiful text messages from him from the school loos - 'Help me!', 'Feel awful. Don't know what to do', etc. 
I would either go in myself to sort it out, or tell him to go to his house assistant and she would look after him. If I asked DS what the problem was at school he would say it was just too noisy, too busy and too tiring.
By the end of term, he was just drained. He sent me and DH several texts over one morning that were just so sad - 'Save me!' said one. I walked down to school and waited in reception for him to walk by (it was lunchtime). This pale, sick-looking boy trailed past me - my son. We sat in reception and talked. His house assistant joined us. DS was still trying to work out how he could stay at school, but he looked too ill to be there. I took him home and he stayed off sick for the last two days of term.
Matters were then complicated because he came off his medication thanks to unacceptable side effects. This meant his anxieties shot sky high and he couldn't even leave the house, let alone go to school. He has now started on a new SSRI and we are waiting for it to work.
Since the start of the new term, he has only managed two full days. The school have sent work for him (at my instigation). DS is seeing a CBT therapist every other week and we have a review coming up with his psychiatrist later this month.
I had a meeting with the SENCO at the new school before the start of last term and asked her about getting him a statement. She said he wouldn't get one because he hadn't needed one at primary (I would dispute that - we actually had a lousy SENCO there who never got him the help he needed). She said the school could provide for his needs without a statement.
Well, the school isn't doing that, is it? He still can't manage school. But what would a statement ask for that would help him? He would absolutely hate any one-to-one support, although that might be exactly what he needs. I can guess at the kind of help he needs (exit card, safe place to go, possibly part-time schooling for a while), but surely there must be someone who can advise properly? When I asked the psychiatrist about it last year, she said that was an educational matter, but presumably she could give recommendations, couldn't she?
Not sure where to go from here. Any advice, anyone?