Need.a chat....living with MIL

[Rox77]

No one to rant to,so here we are! Marriesd almost 5 years and husband made me live with his parents, with the promise he'd get a bigger house and move. Dad's not much of issue as has late stage dementia but his mums been in this house 40 years so has her own ways. I have one room down and one up sharing with 2 kids. We share kitchen which I find difficult esp when I'm preparing dinner and if ticks over 6.30, she will start putting her stuff out which causes me to panic and start finishing off and leaving as I feel I'm in way. (MIL has made her son live with him and stopped him from purchasing a bigger home previously)
Also, if I'm drying dishes and putting them in cupboard. She will come and close the cupboard thinking the steam.will go in(have extractor on) but I'm just putting stuff away etc not open for no reason. I invited her daughter over for dinner and cooked the food and she said I didn't ask her but they was no need to call them. I feel worthless, not like an adult running.my.home. She wanted us living here and said its our homw but it's not. Now I've convinced husband to move but he doesn't the issues I'm currently facing and shuts me.down as atleasts she's nice to us. But I'm exhausted to be stepping on eggshells....as a 30 YO human, woman, wife and mum!

No experience of this, but it rarely , if ever works out well living with in-laws !
I would be moving out with or without my husband .
good luck 🍀

I live with my in-laws and it’s awful. Move out do it for your kids if you’re husbands not in board then why should you put up with his family? Is that what we will be teaching our children??!

Move out they're all the same. I have not only lived with my mother-in-law, I also have had the misfortune of living with my husband's brother's wife who was an absolute bitch towards me while being sweet to the rest of the family, and also my sister-in-law when we moved to London, who mentally tortured and abused me to the extent I suffer from PTSD. All the women in my in-laws side have been bitchy, insecure, jealous women who can't stand a woman who wants to be independent and have her own career. My MIL even put me down and ruined my breastfeeding, taunting me for not being quick enough while bathing my own baby to not letting me bond with my baby at all, coming inside the room taking my baby and running away. Never letting them woman ruin something so precious for me again, I absolutely hate her.

She came over recently and accused me of breaking the family when I said I didn't want to keep any relationship with her other son and his wife. Didn't bother asking why, no concern, no emotional support nothing. She attacked me viciously and cursed me by saying I'd never be happy in life and my daughter wouldn't want to be with me when she grows up.

@shininglight16 I'm sorry this happened to you and hope you're doing better. Honestly, let them say what they want, you live your happy life. I'm lucky no ones mean to me, mil has never really said anything to me directly, I guess because that would be it and her son would leave with me. However, I'm sure she has a good time saying things behind my back to others and I'm still stuck with her ways. I'm looking for a house but struggling with the areas I'm looking at with good schools, so it's taking longer. It's her world, were just living in jt lol. Wveeything about her and her husband. She knows how much I hate it here amd struggling. Not once her or her daughters have spoke about it and said you're not happy here clearly, look for a house to me or my husband where youve got more space and happy. Instead they love seeing me struggle as long as they get to stay here with their son and their daughters can't stand the fact I'd have my own home, yes my own home which is a basic need lol. Anyway, if we you need a chat, you can always PM me!

I lived with my Mil for 3 years. She always used to control everything, make comments and didn't let me cook or anything. She used to say it was because she cared about me and wanted me to rest as I used to come back from work. Really it was her way of controlling everything. If I ever did cook she would get involved and take over. No item could be moved in the house without her permission.

The turning point for me was when I noticed she was trying to control how I raised my children. I wasn't going to let her do that so I started speaking up. I started cooking my own choices for me and my kids and doing stuff around the house even though she didn't like it. It let her know she wasn't in control anymore. We eventually moved out and she still tries to control things but I am openly blunt to her. I've realised nothing I do will ever be good enough so I don't care what she thinks anymore.

I would recommend finding your own place to live in and in the meantime just do what you want in the house. Take your time with your cooking etc, she can wait if she needs too.