Struggling

[manifest2025]

I hate living with PILs extended family.

I am 6 months postpartum on MAT leave this is my time with DD.

I hate sharing DD with PILs. Ok they love her and care for her but they have nothing else going on in their own lives so they take so much of my time with DD. Also, I am bonded with DD I can see she is happy to be playing on the floor rather than picked up and interrupted but PILs thinking they are being playful. Then they put her down when they are tired and it unsettles DD then I have to comfort her.

I feel there is an unspoken language that they need to know everything about DD but no one else on the family shares anything with me. My SIL is also always around DD she need to get her own life.

I feel really resentful that everyone is benefiting from my marriage and my child. Yet I hardly have any time with my husband and feel I share my baby. My own parents don't even get this time.

I am spiralling I even called mind and Samaritans to talk to someone but they didn't answer.

Husband is back at work and the days are so long without him and I'm stuck with his family.

I am struggling

I've been through this...I made the biggest mistake of allowing my in-laws to come stay with us over 2 months post partum. Not only did my MIL take my daughter away at every given opportunity, including coming into MY room when she heard my baby cry and taking care and running away, she completely RUINED my breastfeeding journey at 6 weeks. She kept saying my supply was low when it wasn't and being a first time mother with an upheaval of emotions and hormones all over the place I believed her given her experience with 3 kids. She dictated what I eat and kept forcing me to have these horrible concoctions that I absolutely hated, instead of encouraging me to spend time bonding with and having skin to skin contact with my baby. She enforced using a dummy, leading to further nipple confusion and complete breast refusal, thereby, not being able to breastfeed at all after 6 weeks. She has given me anxiety and clinical depression over her constant remarks, criticism, belittlinge and expecting me to do all the house work after a traumatic delivery. She kept crying about me turning her son into a servant and making him do everything.

These people are the most unsympathetic , unempathetic, orthodox, regressive and selfish narcissists you'll ever meet. Please stay away or go to your parents and I say this with urgency. Your sanity and mental health is more important, you'll regret it the way I did for a lifetime 🙏

Thank you for replying. I'm sorry you had a hard experience. Mine was similar also my PILs came to stay when DD was born and they ruined my experience.

They are visiting again for an extended visit over Christmas and it's killing me. Albeit I have 3 weeks left with them (still live with SIL who is a whole other sure) I'm am already burnt out. I can't leave the house to stay with my parents as the PILs have come to visit specifically DD. So leaving would not look good and cause so much more issues.
I just feel stuck and resentful.

I love my husband he's my best friend and an amazing system we're compatible. But his family are a burden. My nervous system is in constant crisis mode because I can never relax being around his family. I am trying to be supportive for my husband to have this time with his family but I hate living with my in-laws and SIL.

Take it one day at a time.

Go out for walks with the baby to give yourself some breathing space.

Let your husband be on PIL duty once he gets home from work so you can have 121 time with baby.

Hey OP, I am struggling to understand the family setup? Who do you actually live with? How old is the SIL?

Why can’t you get your own place?