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No attraction to husband - what to do

3 replies

newmumpat · 12/12/2024 23:02

Ok so I want to give context here:

I'm in my early 30s, married 10 years, it was a love marriage/I chose my partner. We have 2 young kids. I love my husband, he's a great dad, good husband (sure we have the usual marriage disagreements).

Here's the deal:

He has/is providing me with a lifestyle I could never imagine. We have a beautiful house, 2 beautiful kids. Both families look at us as the ideal couple. We are lucky that we don't have financial worries or any other worries. He is a handsome man but I'm just not attracted to him. There's no instant lust, spark, urge to be passionate. If I'm honest I could go months without being intimate. We try to have date nights but get so busy with work, kids, life and social commitments. When we do make time, I just don't feel anything.

I've had my hormones checked, blood tests done - all normal. I know many people say this is a phase but I don't think it is. I am attracted to other men and embarrassingly fantasies about non-real other men.

I now think to myself, I am happy but is this it? Is this marriage and this is what life is like for the rest of my life?!

Sorry I know I sound horrible and ungrateful but I really can't talk or say this to anyone I know.

Would love to heat thoughts on this.

OP posts:
jellymaker · 12/12/2024 23:21

Give thanks for the blessings in your life. All marriages go through seasons. Over years, you have times of closeness and time when you aren't. Do not throw away it away in this season. The grass is not greener on the other side.

Blue78ivy · 19/12/2024 22:37

yh its on u how u feel lust can't give u happiness i feel lust and spark is basic entities u need prioritise what u can live with and what u cant live without so yh balls in ur court!
My partner screwed me financially so ur partner seems perfect lol

Blue78ivy · 19/12/2024 22:41

Also its very normal to have fantasy in ur head about non existence men but what man would truly fill that void it is make believe and u seem normal too me lol ur hormones are fine sometimes feeling about something is a phase its on u if u act on it and it passes trust me

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