Hate in-laws near my child

[AKM22]

Why do I get so tense when my SIL MIL & FIL are near, touching or talking to my baby?
The rest of my husbands family I am fine with and I love to visit and spend time with.
But those 3 have caused me a lot of upset and trauma. Also I can't get away from them living with SIL and then MIL and FIL live abroad but visit for extended weeks.
I hate who I have become and being a cold person especially I feel bad for my husband as he says I look so unhappy.
I've become a first time mum and I'm learning on the job and I do love it. But I'm ruining my own life and memories because I hate my SIL being around my daughter because of how I feel not how she treats my daughter.
I don't know how to improve my situation...

You don’t like them near your baby because they have treated you badly, you feel threatened by them and you are protective of your child. It’s totally natural and not because you are becoming a cold person. Living with sil plus with your pil’s staying for extended weeks is affecting your mental health as they are not treating you nicely, have you any plans to move and have your own home?

The plan is to move out. It's not as easy as everyone makes out to buy a house. We need to leave on respectful terms as I'm not asking my husband to leave his family forever but we want our own home for me him and our baby. That would mean leaving my SIL and as a consequence I will automatically be the villain. The PILs are coming to stay 4 weeks in December and I'm so anxious and upset. I know I have to put a front on and be supportive my husband sees them once a year but he also can't time off in December because of work and I'm on MAT leave so I will be stuck at home with them and I feel trapped

Does your husband work away? Do you have family nearby? Are there many mum and baby groups nearby? I would plan to get out of the house as much as possible wrap up warm and try to keep busy.

You are in such a privileged position here - living rent free in a house with in laws only coming around 4 months in the year that it isn't worth rocking the boat.

Keep your head down, keep saving, and seperate your relationship with them from your child's relationship with them. Shitty in laws can still be amazing grandparents / aunts / uncles.

When you leave your SIL’s house why will you be the villain? Some people are impossible to please, just remember that they would be this way with whoever your husband had married. It’s not because you are lacking in any way nor how they may try to portray you as. Keep hold of your self esteem and don’t worry about how your actions (moving in the future) etc will be viewed by them as let’s face it you will be the villain no matter what.

Why do you think you’ll be the villain when you move out of your SIL’s house? To whom?
It’s a perfectly normal thing for your dh to do when he’s got a family of his own?

I feel bad for leaving my daughter with them while I go sit upstairs on my own in my bedroom. I feel defeated, 3 (MIL FIL & SIL) against me while my husband is at work from 7am to 7pm.
But it's easier for me to have an escape from everyone because I feel they just want my daughter so I leave her with them I know she is looked after and they love her. But I don't want to be around them at all let alone watch them with her. Because I hate them with her I leave my daughter with them to get away from being around it all.
It's such a conflicting feeling to hold on to