Married from 'back home'

[justthatgirl1]

Has anyone got married from 'back home' .. ie India Pakistan .. and had a successful marriage?

Sorry you got no replies. I haven't married from 'back home' but I know plenty that have and are happy. Others it really hasn't worked out for though. Why do you ask?

Tbh I can think of one marriage where they seem happy but most of them don’t work so well. When you fall in love you are motivated to overcome cultural differences but most I know of I wouldn’t say they were happy. It’s extremely uncommon now. I think if you have similar values it can work for example someone coming from a liberal indian or pakistani background may find it easier to understand a spouse from the west.

Depends where that person is from. I'm from a very cosmopolitan city in India and I find Indians in the UK extremely orthodox, regressive and from the 60's, 70's. Luckily, I married a guy from my city and not from here, wouldn't be able to fit in with that level of thinking. I wonder why people haven't changed with the times? India has grown immensely and people are far more open minded and progressive there than they are here!

I wouldn't advise it. It's different mentality. But mind you there are people like that of south Asian backgrounds that are backwards.

They marry to come here and you marry to have a spouse. That says a lot. They always have to send money back home. If it's 100 pounds a month it's like is that it? I know women who pay for everything and their husbands don't but send 500 pounds per month back home for their poor parents. Then they want to bring the whole family over and get residence here permanently.

Life's hard. Why make life harder like this.

A lot of them are financially abusive. They won't pay for anything for u or ur kids. Yet will use all the money up.

If u do bring someone from there make sure u make them pay for their own visa and flights. Don't show how much money u have they're greedy. They tend to have money in banks but hide it and are extremely stingy.

Yh i married my first cousin his mentality was "im owed England " and that you marrying me is my entitlement i realised this now 🤦‍♀️, when ur 18 and a decent person u think the sun shines from ur partners butt!! And the red flags ur not aware of them untill its late . They do financially fuk u so best to keep ur money to ur self amd and tell them to pay half the bills with their money cuz thats the worst bo coming back from that and good marriage is where ur husband pays half the bills AND supports the kids not a little here and there no matter what these backwoods people think

Agree entirely! the idea that Indians born in the UK are progressive is so far off the mark.

Lol tell me about it. Are you from India too?

@shininglight16 but then when you go back to India say in 5-10 years time they'll think you're backwards too and not progressive. I've seen that pattern over generations. You think British people of Indian people here are not modern whereas they think the current Indians from India behave like they haven't seen anything so behave too modern.

Each to it's own I guess. I don't feel like I belong here amongst the British Indians. I've seen way too many British Indians being ashamed of their roots, pretending to be superior, trying to be white and looking down upon Indians who come from India. I would never become like them, I come from a very liberal and open minded family so the question of becoming backward doesn't even arise. Also, the profession I'm in, my lifestyle and the people I'm surrounded by are far from orthodox and regressive. There's no way I'd be called backward when I go back.