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South Asian Mumsnetters

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I'm struggling to be around this!

4 replies

Rox77 · 28/06/2024 10:22

So, my husband is expected to live with his parents or them live with us etc. Problem is we've been married 4 years and are looking to buy soon but still living in his childhood home which his mother's run for 43 ish years so it's never felt like home to me as I do eveeythjng her way otherwise things will move even if I put them differently etc. Im struggling cause I have 2 kids and just whenever I casually use kitchen she's always there doing something and it annoys me but it's her home however they say it's mine too. When I get my own place I'll be taking more authority, so she'll be more like I feel ( I hope) as its my home to raise my family. She's lovely but it's getting too much. Also fil has severe dementia, deaf etc so she's always shouting at him to go bathroom, walk upstairs, drink your water,,etc. Constant shouting is not good for my head even though its not at me. I have to hear it which causes me anxiety. They csn stay at home alone and each child can visit eveey week (5 between them) but my husband is not discussing this with anyone amd is expecting me and my children to live in all this. I love his parents but living with them makes me feel bitter towards them. Sorry. Just had to let it out.

OP posts:
longdistanceclaraclara · 28/06/2024 11:51

Did you know the expectation before you married? IME it's usual to stay in that set up past baby stage. Can you afford to move out? What does your husband think?

Ash099 · 05/07/2024 10:13

I remember your previous post, I'm sorry you are going through this, it's just constant expectations.will his parents be financially contributing to a new place? If so, is it possible to look at somewhere with an annex /extension with separate living quarters with kitchen.

From the 5, is he he only son?

AKM22 · 21/11/2024 20:19

Rox77 · 28/06/2024 10:22

So, my husband is expected to live with his parents or them live with us etc. Problem is we've been married 4 years and are looking to buy soon but still living in his childhood home which his mother's run for 43 ish years so it's never felt like home to me as I do eveeythjng her way otherwise things will move even if I put them differently etc. Im struggling cause I have 2 kids and just whenever I casually use kitchen she's always there doing something and it annoys me but it's her home however they say it's mine too. When I get my own place I'll be taking more authority, so she'll be more like I feel ( I hope) as its my home to raise my family. She's lovely but it's getting too much. Also fil has severe dementia, deaf etc so she's always shouting at him to go bathroom, walk upstairs, drink your water,,etc. Constant shouting is not good for my head even though its not at me. I have to hear it which causes me anxiety. They csn stay at home alone and each child can visit eveey week (5 between them) but my husband is not discussing this with anyone amd is expecting me and my children to live in all this. I love his parents but living with them makes me feel bitter towards them. Sorry. Just had to let it out.

How are you?
I have just come across your post.

Having similar frustrations with my in-laws and feeling trapped

Rox77 · 28/07/2025 13:13

@AKM22 same rubbish tbh. Just here, living in someone's world -_-

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