AITA for not getting over this...
First time mum had baby now 2 months ago. I was hospitalised prior to delivery and was discharged following a week long stay with baby who was 4 weeks premature. I had a very difficult labour resulting in an emergency section. My husband invited my in laws to stay the day after baby and I were discharged home, I was not informed that they would be staying over at our house. When my MIL arrived, she didn't greet me - put her hands out for baby and just commented again + again on how small baby was and how it would be better had he been born on his due date. The next morning, she was talking to her extended family then saying how cute the baby was. I was obviously very upset by this, struggling with aftermath of delivery and probably not my kindest self - someone used all the hot water in the house (I was upset by this as finally getting to shower at home). She ended the evening stating that my husband was stupid for marrying me, then walking out of my house in a mood (with SILs and FIL).
I later found out that my own grandma had been speaking about how moody I have been for years with my MIL. It makes sense now, as she had made some round about comments about 'how nice my G'Ma' during this visit. My G'Ma has a difficult relationship with my mum and my MIL had come to the conclusion that my mum should not be allowed to see baby. I discovered this information when looking through my husbands phone - not my finest moment and something I am ashamed of. In addition to this, his sister had been speaking rubbish about my family to him too.
The aftermath of this was a very sad PP and difficult time for myself and DH, given that he had been involved in the conversations. He has always been close to his family and initially did not acknowledge that his mum has done anything wrong.
Fast foward, they have not spoken to me for months. No one has contacted me to ask how I am. MIL has been speaking to DH, and will now speak to me whilst she is on the phone but has not contacted me directly. DH has been understandably very down and visited home - they live 4 hrs away. They expected us to make the journey with our newborn and FIL is angry we haven't visited. He has returned with a spring in his step and now on the phone to his mum with baby daily. Her initial response to me was 'I'm glad you are feeling better', with no mention of her actions. He has asked if they can visit for Xmas to which I have said yes, but I feel very anxious and alienated in that he seems to have gone back to normal with his family whereas I have not. I'm deeply hurt. I have made a huge effort with my husband's family for years. I was made to baby sit for 3 weeks whilst pregnant (without DH asking) whilst his parents went on holiday whilst struggling with hyperemesis. Later in pregnancy, I was asked to cook and bring it 3 hrs away when they got back (whilst still working full time).
I know time has passed. But I am struggling to move on. I'm caught in a cycle of rumination and I feel betrayed by DH. I'm trying as I know how sad he has been but I feel like I was abused and perhaps not my nicest in pregnancy following above events + others. AITA? How do I move on following all of this, as it really is affecting our marriage?