Hi all this is my first post so bare with me please! I have a DS who will be 5 next month. He started reception an Indy School in September & has had an awful time adjusting. Before he had a 1-1 (which we pay a portion of on top of the school fees which aren’t that expensive but still we could do without paying the 1-1) there were incidents everyday were he was biting, hitting kicking kids & staff & having major meltdowns. He hated any changes or transitions & the teachers were really struggling with him. He’s always had problems playing alongside others & sharing taking turns etc & it’s always ended up with him hurting the poor other child in pre school & even when I’d bring him to play groups soft play & play dates. He’s a handful at home & my husband and I are always walking on egg shells. Since his little brother has come along he has also lashed out at him loads so it’s a constant battle making sure he’s safe! Here is a list of things which he does which I’m concerned as to whether it’s ADHD or autism:
He stims when he’s anxious or tired
smells a lot of things especially toys & food
He is obsessed with Thomas, it’s all he’ll play with constantly
He will have meltdowns if he is expecting one parent to pick him up from School & it’s the parent
He struggles with transitions, especially play to food, or tv to going out, we have to tell him in advance
He can initiate play with other kids but I think if something changes that he doesn’t like that’s when he hurts them.
He is very friendly too but can be over friendly & gets right into people’s faces & dosent understand personal space.
He’s hypermpbile
He has sensory issues & cant stand certain noises especially the food hall in school so he had ear defenders for at home & School when it distresses him.
He’s under a paediatrician, he’s seeing a private OT, an EP has assessed him (awaiting her report) and his school are intending on getting an EHCP in place although I don’t think his needs are severe enough for the LA to even look at one. The school definitely think there is something wrong but everyone else is on the fence I feel!
I spoke to the child dev centre manager today & she said his ped most likely won’t refer him to CHAMS straight away because it’s not so clear cut & dosent want to send him down the wrong path. I’m totally at a loss what to do & sometimes I think it’s just all our fault & we haven’t been hard enough on him as well as DH & I having our own issues & fighting a lot in front of him hasn’t helped.
Would we be better off waiting till he’s older to try & get a diagnosis? Or does he need to be assessed sooner rather then later so he gets the support he needs?