Business idea targeting parents/couples: Please RIP it apart

[LemonKangroo]

Context: I feel there are too many apps/services to get into a relationship, but I haven't seen anything to keep marriages together.

Target market: Millennial career mothers with young kids (Because this is by far one of the busiest period of our lives, and we end up playing the default parent role usually).

Some common struggles for the target market (assumptions/generalising):

1. Guilt (Not enough time with kids - we are choosing to be at work and not home - a wicked choice, or the shame for self-care and leaving kids with babysitters/grandparents).
2. Burnout (Balancing Work-Parenting-Household-Relationship-Others) - Only if there was more time - I'd likely sleep/recharge.
3. Lack of support/mental load - Dealing with in-laws, planning dates, money problems, or having to constantly tell our partner to pull their weight (not always of course)
4. Other - Intimacy, lack of control, commitment, or presence in the marriage, etc.

*Apologies if this is harsh/very gender biased - I know not every relationship or partner is like this.

Solution (All-in-one subscription per month):

1. Easy way to share the house and family admin work (chores, reminders, appointments, bill payments, etc.). I know of existing solutions, but I wanted to implement the card system from the Fair Play book & gamify it.
2. Bonding/Me-time (concierge to plan and do logistics - you or a couple just turns up). Hyper-personalised date night/revisit your past.
3. Support (Connection to vetted businesses to solve legal, financial, couple conflicts, career, etc., issues) - There are issues around recognising we need help then selecting a good service on budget is tougher.

Give me every reason why this won't work, why am I wasting my time on this? E.g. the problems are way off, solutions are too weak/generic, etc.

Quite a few issues within a marriage are caused by lack of communication, and looking at an app is using up more time than actually talking and listening

Didn’t you post about this the other day?

This covers a lot of separate issues - and yes, I face all of them 😂 - but how will you be able to market it to people who experience some of the problems but not all of them, without them thinking, "well I'm doing better than that so it's not for me"?

Mumsnet is full of women who want to tackle guilt, burnout, intimacy etc but the problem is their partner won't engage. Can it work for half the couple of do both need to be on board? How can you market it to the one who needs more convincing rather than the one who already gets it?

Couples may want to tackle some of these things but it would be taboo to suggest it's a "staying together" issue. Marketing it like that might force people to acknowledge the alternative is breaking up - or if they don't feel comfortable doing that, they may shy away from using it.

If they're ready to say the alternative is breaking up, shouldn't the thing be marketed backwards, like emergency intervention followed by improving all those things in the longer time for maintenance?

(I do think it's a good idea btw.)

Ok, I'm hoping you can refute my points here which is why I'm batting them to you:

What can you do that ChatGPT can't? The first two of the three solutions you mentioned are things I can get from talking to an AI and I don't have to pay. I'd really want to see something outstanding and non-AI-able to pay a monthly subscription to you (come up with something; I hate using AI in my personal life because I work with it).

What's your solution for where one person is pro-app but their partner is utterly apathetic/not interested in doing it this way/has a different information style? This would really only work for couples where both were on board, right? In my relationship (target market) DH just won't arse himself with stuff like this so I'd be doing all the legwork and instead of healing, resentment would build, making me less likely to pay you the month after. You need your customers to see results so they keep paying you.

I don't like the connection to vetted businesses idea at all. In this aspect, people are paying you money so that you can recommend them someone who they can pay more money to. If you had support from those services as part of the app or "live chat a solicitor" or whatever, that would be very different (but obv more costly to you). I've seen business communities operating like this before and I'd feel a bit like I was being rinsed with this aspect TBH.

You don’t mention if you have any experience in setting up or running an app? An app like this would need to be pretty cheap for subscribers as a lot of the information already available online from various sources for free. To appeal to a wide base you would need to create an app for both android and apple, you can’t just create one app that works for both. Maintenance, GDPR compliance, etc will be expensive to setup and marketing would need a good budget, you’d probably be lucky to break even in a couple of years, if that.

It was the wrong community so I was advised to post it here - The thread was deleted.

How will you provide hyper personalised date ideas at scale? And if not at scale what will be the charge for this?

Surely something that what the Paired app does would also be more helpful at keeping couples together, ie encouraging communication on a broad range of topics than creating another admin tool.

Unless you have preferred pricing with solicitors, counsellors etc then why would I pay for your app to get a recommendation when I could do the same through mumsnet?

It's not a bad idea. I've developed an app before and it was sooooo time consuming and expensive!

I agree a lot of it does boil down to communication.
My assumption is that you'd turn to the app because:

1. You aren't sure how to raise it - Like you have go into arguments/conflicts generally. Not that you can't communicate
2. Partner is unwilling or not listening - More serious issue (I am sure lot of have communicated it and I feel it still exists - Why?)
3. Lack of time - Don't bring it up until its too late
4. It's too minor - Males needs specifics - e.g. If i tell my hubby to do the dishes he does the dishes but doesn't register to put them away too.

Thanks! What am I missing here though? Apart from the massive costs.

I haven't considered this, I am hoping to cross viability only if this is feasible.

How are you going to tell all those harrassed mums about your app? And then convince them to sign up?

Some great insights - Thanks!

Intervention stage:
I thought by focusing on as divorce prevention/not breaking up - That's a lot of ownership and basically goes towards therapy/counseling territory. I felt this would be tough to do, then you are competing with not only experts but also deep issues that a tech/business can't solve without multiple sessions.

Target market:
On the buy-in, that's a great point, and I had assumed that the wife would bring the partner along for the improvement journey i.e. internal advocacy. Further, I believe the market size amongst men looking for relationship assistant service would be rather small (albeit a shifting trend towards equal partnership). If this doesnt work its kinda dead in the water and may imply deeper issues.

Hoping these are halfway convincing

Preamble: AI has been a bit of hit and miss - I am noticing more negative comments around it, especially in a relationship context because its a lot of private information. I am all in, yes there governance, ethics etc. concerns, but I am hoping its a net positive.

Participation:
If DH doesn't participate its dead - Perhaps someone smarter than me can work on that problem but I'd certainly provide the communication/language to help get DH on board (intimacy - frequent complaint, time with kids, self/buddies or wife, satisfaction, etc.) i.e. it's a win-win position rather than win-lose for him. I'd need to speak with therapists/dads to better understand their motivations ofcourse. On the otherhand, Lack of commitmment is one of the leading drivers of separation, so if this is a pattern; its far more serious.

Solution 1&2:
1: I would use AI but a small language model and have it trained specifically on the family. What are the benefits: security/privacy (data not used for training larger models or selling personal info), personalisation, etc. Yet, I also don't want a chatbot/voice input sort of interaction - its terrible. So what I am thinking is, its proactively scheduling, managing, and orchestrating the household and life admin; with gamification hopefully it reduces the mundane (fold the laundry).
2: Yes, you can setup bots and admittedly i am planning the same - The model will learn about your preferences (e.g. outdoor cinemas, indoor skiing,...) but with agents do the logistics. Further, to make it effortless, I'd partner with baby-sitting services, transportation-on-demand etc. so its seamless as getting ready and showing up.

3: Agree - I didn't want to make it very Big Brotherish, but best case scenario is to have the trained AI learn from your interactions (whatsApp, calls, etc) and then by understanding the emotion, tonality, language etc. suggest solutions. Only if that doesn't work (or its too intrusive) go to the expert network.

Ideally, you would select between 1,2 or 3 - i don't think everyone needs all 3.

Tell me if its still all BS!

Yes you are right - I don't have any app building experience but worked at startups and consulted for various businesses. So, I have a very rough idea on development and marketing costs.

You are also right about existing information and services - I am hoping to not only consolidate for convienience but build an ecosystem around it to increase the switching cost. E.g. why search on forums, asking google/GPT, talking to friends the app 'senses' there has been financial struggle and proactively gives you resolutions or an expert to talk to? Or get notified that the dental appointment is delayed and get routed to pick up the milk along the way?

What kind of cost are estimating the initial app build will cost?

I am going to hit you hard with the negative first:

Your idea is not fleshed enough. You don't have a product, just a mix of services and info linked to couples. No USP. No innovation.

You have no client base either. Couples are in distress because they don't communicate well or want the same things. Why would they start communicating and cooperating to buy for your product?

Also, if so many women resent doing the mental workload, rely on them to advocate for your app is only going to add to their list, it is not consistent with what you promise to deliver.

If you don't have solid experience in app creation, IT, or advanced project management, it is going to be very painful and costly. Talking from experience.

But you still have an interesting angle with ongoing support to couples. You have a good niche, but you need a product.

Personally, I would focus on men. What about a AI companion for men about to become fathers with parenting tips/prompts? And marketed via ads/social media targeted at men?

Because for women, there are already all sorts of self-help content with pink covers so to speak. On the bloke side, a lot less.

But it needs to be "bloke to bloke", if you talk to them like a woman or like the NHS guidelines, they're not going to listen as usual.

Firstly, I assume the problems resonate with you or partner to some extent?
And its the solutions that are weak/uninspiring?

Just to align, Hypersonalisation means - an experience based on location, availability, history, preferences, budget, etc. How to scale this? Start of with people doing this first ofcourse (backend) but over time need to switch to AI to scale - which will be specific to each couple - lowering the cost.

Sure can do that too but do you not find that reactive? I am hoping to be more proactive such that the communication prompts, conversations are set by the environment, past, present and your hopes for the future. Also may I ask, outside of communication, what are your other priorities/struggles? Or has using paired resolved all those issues?

Experts:
I agree you can google, ask forums and do it all for free - But the crux is, is it worth the effort given how busy you are, the other 100 things on your mind, and trying several options while the problem gets worse?

If the app were doing this, it would recommend someone by:

1. Learning your specs: Accredited, specific to your needs (e.g. wills), urgency, budget, sensitivity, etc.
2. Peer reviewed (from your internal network friends, LinkedIn network, work, etc.) have used them so they would get a higher ranking for recommendation

You do bring great points and its something to think about.
Or this is just a rip off and you rather just use AI or talk to a friend and get it instead.

To be honest if I thought an App was needed to save my marriage I would just file for divorce instead.
Relationships are based on proper communication and while I know Apps/AI are great for somethings a marriage isn't like ordering a pizza or planning a holiday.
I would think that less time using tech would be more beneficial to a relationship than more of it
Personally speaking it wouldn't be for me

harrassed mums, sorry don't follow?
I think marketing/lead gen is the next step, but at the idea stage so if this discussion leads to: terrible idea then that's it. On the otherhand, I would start with my personal network

I am sorry, I haven't thought that far, but I'd set a budget of 1-3k for a basic MVP (outsourced)

Came here to say this too. I use ChatGPT for Life Admin. Added the way I want calendar invites set for different life areas, like grocery reminders / birthdays / events and just voice note it. It sends back a link, and I click it then save to calendar. 3 steps, very friction free. A calendar integration would be necessary to reduce admin work for me, and then I'd be semi interested - but only if it was free or the cost / benefit isn't there for me.

I think the marketable aspect would actually be to men? Manage your relationship with 3 clicks, etc., They're lazy sods most of them.

Women are already finding creative ways to manage the home / relationship / kids / work. We've been doing it for centuries. Men on the other hand, have been relying on our silent compliance for centuries...

I think it would also need to have a huge "fun" element, or a virtual assistant would be my first pick. E.g. date night / intimacy prompts. How well do you know your partner quizzes, short activities you can do together for at home date nights, wish lists for presents to save anniversary stress, dream life mood boards, future building activities, etc.,

That’s not going to get very you far development wise and definitely not the app you’ve envisioned above

Thanks for the honest feedback.
To clarify, this is definitely not to save marriages in trouble (I believe serious conversations, therapy, and a lot of other work is required which an App just can't do) - It's more to help share the burden, deepen connection, etc. i.e. more preventative; A tech based solution may not very well do that.

May I confirm whether the problems I described resonated with you or are also off the mark?

I think it'd be important to define what MVP looks like further down the line. This seems to be a "what could the end product look like" and "what problems could it solve" convo, which every great idea needs to start with.

Once the OP has that, they can they see what's MVP, and think about crowdfunding, investment opps etc., plus speak to developers.

And any app can be marketed to an audience, you just need to have a budget or a value swap for it.

Just saw an above point on AI also, and I'd recommend costing integration with too. The more a couple feels seen, the more they'd use it or promote it.

Edited to add, 1-3k is a fairly small budget for app dev. If you're comfortable sharing your background OP, we could look at it from different backgrounds for you? Mine is marketing, with a focus on web dev & tech stacks.

I don’t have any problems in my marriage other than I want to stay married. Sorry I thought you might be marketing this at even happy couples (like the Paired app) to enhance relationships to make them last as I think if you’re at the point of it not working an app isn’t going to rescue you.

Will/can AI do the booking for you too? I was expecting to say me and DH want to do a date night twice a week, we’re usually free Wednesdays and weekends with sufficient notice, will spend £200 a date and like food, theatre and fitness. And then something drops in both our diaries and we turn up at the time and location of the calendar invite (maybe with a final approval stage before it’s actually booked). Like the Amex concierge service. But that’s mostly delivered by people as far as I’m aware, although I’m sure helped along by AI.

I think I’d expect whoever you were recommending to be paid by you for the ad, which I wouldn’t hate but would give me some scepticism. You’re expecting a lot from peer review that me and my network are paying for this app - there aren’t many subscriptions I have in common with my friends so that might be a tough ask. What is your liability if the legal advice is bad and you recommended the lawyer? We have a lot of internal process at my work when we refer to lawyers to protect our position.

I don’t know, I just feel like housework/dates/legal services are three disjointed factors in a relationship and you’re missing a bit of wraparound - about reconnecting people, physically, intellectually and emotionally.